"I don't think it's about finding who you are, I think it's about finding a place where you can be who you are."
Finding where you “fit in” can be intimidating. Trying to find your place—whether it be your major, your friends, the fitting college, the right job—it’s all challenging. There is so much pressure put on us to find this “place,” or this comfort zone, that sometimes in the process we feel lost or uncertain. They make it sound easy. They say to just follow your heart, or do what makes you happy, as if the answer is always that obvious. As if there is always just one route that will give us happiness and all the others provide us with nothing. Despite all of the options and the paths that seem to have no connection however, we always manage to find that place. When we feel lost, and like nothing can get better, somehow, it eventually does, and somehow, it always makes sense in the end.
It’s intimidating knowing that it’s up to you to find where you belong, and find the people who bring you the same comfort that your home town did, or make you feel as included and as cared about as they did. It’s hard to find new people that have to be equivalent to friends and family you have known for years of your life.
It’s hard to accept change. To take a step out of your comfort zone and go to a college you never thought you would. Or start a new job that is something you typically have never done before. Change is intimidating as it is, but when you lose the constant comfort you always have before the change, it becomes all the more challenging. You feel lost, you feel alone, and you feel like you don’t belong.
The important thing to remember, though, is that every single person on this earth has been in your shoes. Every single person on this earth has questioned a decision they made. Questioned a place they are at, questioned the people they call their friends, and questioned if they were doing the right thing—but they made it through.
At this point in our lives, change becomes the new norm. You live on your own, and suddenly things around you are changing each year. Nothing is ever quite consistent because each new year brings new people, new classes, a new job, a new level of independence. It is important to remember the people around you feeling the exact same way, the people around you who have gotten through it, and the people around you that you know you can count on to be those constants in the midst of finding this “place” you belong.
Change is inevitable. People change, and it’s going to be terrifying when you lose someone you thought you knew the most. Our opinions change, and it’s going to be terrifying when you second guess your major or what you want to spend the rest of your life doing. Our needs change, and it’s going to be terrifying when you have to make a step out of your comfort zone to accommodate that need. Change is terrifying, but it is necessary. Change is the inconsistent thing that makes us feel lost, alone, and uncertain for periods in our life—but it’s the inconsistent thing that’s constant in the sense that it makes every single person in this world feel that way. You’re not alone.
Trust your heart, follow your passion, and try new things. Step out of your comfort zone and know that the feeling isn’t temporary. Make new friends but hold on the the handful you know will pull you through every step of your uncertainty. Put yourself in new experiences but know that no decision is permanent, and you can always find your way back. Find your strength, hold on to your roots and your constants, but seek those new challenges while your finding your place in this world. Don’t doubt yourself in the times of uncertainty and discomfort, everyone has been there once before, and everyone has found their way—your time is coming, keep seeking your spot, and make your mark there. Everyone’s has their spot waiting for them out there somewhere.
