Use This Test To Find Out How Stupid You Are

Use This Test To Find Out How Stupid You Are

I survey the university to find out if everyone here is up to standard IQ.
1860
views

I recently started a study on my university's campus...

...where I observed people's behavior in silence and later asked them questions in order to gauge their general level of intelligence. In essence, I challenged each and every person, whether knowingly or unknowingly, to an intellectually titanic game of chess; let me explain how.

Firstly, I sat in one of the commonly-visited areas of campus, the library, in my incognito outfit (trench coat, shades, fedora— everything you need to be inconspicuous.) As people passed by me chillaxing on one of the chairs and playing Starfox 64 on my DS, I took mental note of how many noticed me. This was the first sign of a heightened intellectual sense...

Secondly, after being asked to leave the reading rooms, I waited outside to interview each of the people who had noticeably looked over at me, in my almost unnoticeable position. At this point, I had taken off my shades in order to seem more approachable to the common peasant. This time, I had my trusty notepad out to record what would transpire. As each person came out over the course of several (five) hours, I asked each of them a riddle:

"If Jimmy is 8 and his brother Albert is half his age, how old will Albert be when Jimmy is 80?"

To which the typical answer was a resounding "76," which most people would assume is correct. What these people didn't know, however, is that Albert's age has a direct, multiplicative relation to Jimmy's, meaning that when Jimmy is 80, Albert will be 40, since he ages at half the rate that Jimmy does. The fact that almost none of these people, none of these college students were able to answer this very simple riddle correctly is, to be a quiet Frank, astounding to me. Among these very clearly mentally challenged students, I also found people who tended to major in sociology and unironically listened to Gucci Gang. Shocking, to say the least.

There was one person, however, who did get this riddle correct: it was me, yours truly. Sorry to say but, if you can't measure up to my level of intelligence, then you really shouldn't be in college, and have fun working at McDonald's with your inferior IQs when you inevitably realize your lack of mental capability. To those of you who understood the riddle and answered it correctly: congratulations. I will treat you with respect, but not as an equal, because there can be only one, and honey? You've got a big storm heading your way.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Popular Right Now

22 Girl Names Your Random College Roommate Will Have, And The Type Of Roommate They Are

Will she be your BFF?
122836
views

Every roommate situation in college is going to be different.

All you can do is hope and pray that they'll just leave you alone for the most part. A lot of the time, you can get a hint about what kind of roommate they'll be just knowing their first name.

1. Hailey

Her dad pays her rent. She can't cook. Litters the kitchen with take out boxes from the local vegan joint.

2. Beth

Totally wants you to go to SoulCycle with her at 6 a.m. on a Saturday. Room is littered with leggings and sneakers.

3. Michelle

Comes home at 3 a.m. after a night of heavy drinking. Loudly makes some sort of frozen meal. Sleeps through her noon alarm.

4. Victoria

Probably has dark hair and an acoustic guitar. Keeps pretty much to herself. Does homework in the living room at obscure hours.

5. Madison

Was on the dance team in high school and has not stopped telling you about how great it was. Does work out videos on the TV in the living room.

6. Kim

Brings her boyfriend over every night of the week. Brings different boys home on the weekends.

7. Megan

Actively avoids cleaning the bathroom. Leaves her dishes in the sink. You haven't seen her shower in four days.

8. Erica

Normal. Quiet. Wants to be a high school English teacher.

9. Erika

Wild. Emotionally distraught always. Is always hosting the pre-game. Never comes home with all of the clothes she left wearing.

10. Sarah

"Definitely should have got into Harvard, but I ended up here instead." Too into trying to get a 4.0 to pay attention to you.

11. Julia

Studies music performance. Screams expletives at her keyboard. Cannot play the trumpet, but still tries really hard.

12. Hannah

So tall she almost hits her head on the doorways. Plays basketball. Raps to old Kanye in the shower.

13. Jenny

Should not be allowed to go out. Goes out every weekend anyway. Throws up in your bathtub and doesn't always address it in the morning.

14. Heather

Stressing about her internship. Is currently failing all of her classes. Will somehow still get a 3.5 GPA this semester.

15. Grace

You never see her, only the hairballs she leaves all around your place.

16. Emma

Only has guy friends because "it's easier." Guy friends who leave empty beer cans out after every sporting event on TV.

17. Caitlyn

Has a 4.0 as a biology major. Is going to med school. Sterilizes her room, the bathroom and the kitchen sink every four hours.

18. Sam

Always has a paper about feminism to write. Rosie the Riveter poster in her room.

19. Alex

Is probably dating her boss. Has straight Ds in all her classes.

20. Taylor

Is somehow always home when you're home. You know nothing about her other than where she's from.

21. Alyssa

Trying to become the next big YouTuber. Has lighting equipment all over the place. You constantly hear the phrase, "Hey guys, welcome to my channel!" She squealed because yesterday she hit 25 subscribers.

22. Jesse

Is probably plotting your murder. Lurks around like a cat.

Cover Image Credit: Morgan Yates//YouTube

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Breaking, Raking, Shaking

A news-wire covering breaking news, financial news, and interesting stories too.
941
views

School's out for summer, but not forever. Let's get caught up on some stories I found really fascinating this week.

Over 60 killed in protests near the Israel and Palestine border(developing):

The arrival of the U.S. embassy in Jerusalem has been debated for decades and now that it's officially there, (no less on the anniversary of Israel's independence) Palestinians have come out to protest. According to the United Nations Human Rights Commissioner among those killed were women, children, journalists, first responders, and bystanders. Israeli Defense Forces estimated 40,000 protestors were at the protest. Israel military forces air-dropped leaflets warning protestors to stay away from the eastern border of the Gaza strip near the security fence.

The use of live ammunition and force is being called into question as to whether or not that was the best course of action for the protest. I have a feeling this will continue to develop in the future weeks. Rupert Colville, spokesperson for the U.N. High Commissioner for Human Rights condemned the "appalling, and deadly violence".

Social Security Secrets: Some information on SS.

Although I'm quite far from being anywhere near retirement age I found this article on some basic information about Social Security to be very fascinating. This article covers topics like when you can receive your full benefit depending on the year you were born, what spousal benefits can tell you about your experience, and other curious odds and ends most people don't know about Social Security.

A new think-tank suggests combining Medicare and the ACA: a revolutionary idea on Healthcare?

The plan is called "The Healthy America" plan, and it's being lauded by those from the left-of-center think-tank "The Urban Institute". Their proposal doesn't suggest we change our market to a system focused on healthcare for all. Instead this plan suggests we offer public options with private plans by creating a new market. It would cover children, and the disabled the same, and it would provide more cost coverage for those on the Affordable Care Act. Among other policies on the plan, it would cover Low-income people if they were found to be uninsured, and also keep the pre-existing condition prohibition ban from the ACA.


Department of State lifts hiring freeze: A change in the air for foreign policy?

New Secretary of State, and former CIA director Mike Pompeo has lifted the hiring freeze at the State Department of the United States. This is a shift from the former policies of former Sec. of State Rex Tillerson. This shift may be a sign that the United States is making a change in how it approaches foreign policy, or it could signify Pompeo gaining favor with the President.


Supreme Court strikes down law banning gambling on Sports

The New Jersey law prohibiting gambling on sports has been struck down by the highest court in the United States. This could open up gambling on sports more throughout the nation, and will help increase growth in a burgeoning industry.

Africa's Free Trade Future: A story in the works

African nations have started signing a new free trade agreement in Africa aiming to eliminate 90% of tariffs within the continent for commercial trade.Talks started in 2015 to establish what the nations are attempting to call the "African Continental Free Trade Area". If successful in the negotiations, the continent could see its GDP grow to $3 Trillion making it one of the larger economies in the world, comparative to Germany.

In other news...

Elon Musk shares video of Tesla pulling Jet

This is pretty neat! Who says Electric cars don't have torque?

Tenacious D announce tour, and new album

Ever since the pick of destiny, many of our lives have felt the impact of Tenacious D. Their music serenades the heart, and solidifies the soul. With the recent announcement of a new tour, and a new album it's hard to contain the joy resonating from myself. With it being their first album in six years, i'm sure there are plenty of others prepared for the LP later this year.

Cover Image Credit: diggertomsen from flickr

Related Content

Facebook Comments