Finals Week is finally here, time to go through the finals routine. Don't be ashamed, though. No one is exempt from the craziness that ensues. Even Spongebob knows what it's like to go through the hell that is finals.
Over the weekend, you study everything. Literally... everything. "The book was published in 1992 by..."
Until you can't study anymore. "Maybe if I hit myself enough times, the information will just leap into my brain."
You feel ready for anything. "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready."
You're so excited just to get the test over with. "If I wait another second, I might forget everything I crammed into my mind last night."
Then you read the first question and realize you know nothing. "Did she say chapters 3 to 6 or 13 to 16?"
For the first half of the exam you don't know what to do. "If I think really hard, it will all come back to me. Any second now..."
Then, for the second half you frantically try to answer every question to the best of your dwindling ability. "If I put in lots of big words, it will look like I know what I'm talking about."
By the end of the exam, you're so unsure of your work that you consider ripping up the test and dropping out of college. "Hobo is a viable job option, right?"
Then you get to the next exam, and it happens all over again. "Maybe I should have gone to that study session earlier in the semester."
When you finally make it through the week, you feel like you can't even function. "How do you walk again?"
Now, the waiting begins. The longest days of your life are when you're waiting to find out just how bad you failed. "Did I even turn in the exam? Maybe she lost it."
You hit refresh every few seconds, waiting for grades to go live. "Maybe it's just this computer, let me try yours."
The longer it takes, the more you're convinced you failed. "That's it. I'm a failure."
You're sure you ruined any chance you had at a good future. "I'll never amount to anything!"
You start to imagine your new future. "Would you like fries with that?"
Finally, right before you've officially lost your mind, you get your grades. "Finally!"
You did it. You passed. "I knew everything would be okay."
Now, you can throw away everything you learned this semester. Just don't throw out your name. You're going to need that.
It's officially Christmas break! " I'm free!"
Until you realize you have to do it all again next semester. Eh: there will be time to worry about that later. For now, be happy you made it through the semester and enjoy your month off.