I am currently writing this article instead of doing a million other things I'm supposed to be doing. If you don't relate to that, then you are clearly not a college student during finals week. But you know who always relates to how you're feeling at any given time? "The Office." Thank you to all my favorite characters for understanding that sometimes life is like a car crash in slow motion.
1. It's the week before and you're in denial.
You have so many tests, papers, and presentations that you are basically in a state of shock. You cannot believe how much you have to do and you certainly aren't doing any of it. Actually, you're most likely just telling everyone that will listen, "I have so much to do," then proceeding to list all your responsibilities. For some reason we like to make someone pity us so we are reassured that our lives do indeed suck at the moment. It's weird, but it's true. (The fact that it's beautiful out now doesn't help either. You just want to be in the sun, not in the library!)
2. You begin stress eating.
For example, I myself just bought a box of double stuffed golden Oreos along with about 1,000 notecards. I now feel prepared to spend the rest of the night binge eating and binge studying.
3. Your test is fast approaching and you are taking it very well.
This is the time when you realize just how little you know and/or remember. The only thing smaller than the amount you retained this year is the amount of time you have to relearn it. It's OK though, you're cool as a cucumber. Clearly. (Can't you tell by my lack of personal hygiene? What's a shower?)
4. Your life is such a mess, it's comical.
You actually find your misfortune funny. You're that crazy person who can be found laugh-crying in public places. You are officially at a point of delirium where you don't even know how to feel or act.
5. You start to make a study plan
You know how precious your time is and how every minute of studying counts. You begin to write out a detailed itinerary, right down to nap breaks, coffee breaks and even 20 minute Facebook breaks. You bring your notecards everywhere, even the bathroom. You eat, sleep, breathe knowledge.
6. The genius stage.
It's been a long time coming, with a lot of sweat and tears, but you finally think you learned something. That kind of self confidence doesn't just go away. The pep talks you gave yourself all week long seem to finally be paying off. All you want to do now is talk about how you know what a hemoglobin is.
7. You debate changing your name and moving out of the country.
This is the point of studying for finals when everyone starts talking about how they "should probably just drop out now." This is usually followed by a discussion of all the famous people who were successful without a college degree. Obviously, these are idle threats.
8. You have a renewed sense of confidence the day before your test.
You realize that you are the Pam Beesley of college. You are not just the hot receptionist. You are talented, funny, hard working and going to take this world by storm. You're even going to find your Jim Halpert along the way (or visa-versa). Finals don't know who they're messing with.
9. You did it.
For better or for worse, the worst is over. You tried your best and all you can do is hope that your grades will reflect that. Now go call your parents and friends and second cousins once removed and tell them you made it through your first, or yet another, year of college.
