I have unintentionally made my fair share of enemies over the years. I have been backstabbed, cheated on, and lied to far too many times by friends and ex-lovers. While experiencing all of this, I have found that I have become particularly skilled in the art of holding a grudge. I let those grudges ferment and fester over the course of many years. I let the little details and words that happened in certain situations creep up and get to me.

As I grew older, I collected grudge after grudge and eventually they started to slow me down. Withholding all of this anger and frustration made my heart heavier. It affected how I viewed myself as a friend, girlfriend, and daughter. I was driven by the aspiration of perfection, but we all know that no one can be perfect. I tried to learn from my mistakes from past relationships with friends, family, and ex-boyfriends in an attempt to mold myself into the perfect person who could do no wrong. However, what I've learned is that no matter how hard I tried, I failed at this impossible endeavor. I tried with all my might to prevent my past from repeating itself, but most things were out of my control. I lost many horrible friends and I gained some great friends while holding these grudges, so I suppose that is one positive outlook on this chaotic situation.

Over the past few years, I have had to come to terms with these grudges and acknowledged that they were affecting my mental and physical state too immensely to ignore. I accepted that the people I had claimed wronged me were not the only ones who were guilty of the fallout of our relationship. I have learned of forgiveness and the light it shines on the deepest and darkest parts of our lives. Forgiveness has taught me to be mature, graceful, and happy. The people you surround yourself with directly affect your happiness and by cutting out the negative people you make room for more positives. This doesn't necessarily mean you should burn your bridges with those people you have chosen to cut out, but rather quietly fade them out of your life.

I have learned that being angry is extremely easy to hold on to and that forgiveness is the real challenge this world presents us with. But I promise once you come to terms with yourself and your own demons, then you can come to terms with the relationships with people in your life. I don't want to spend my whole life being angry at someone for what happened in the past. I have not only forgiven my enemies, but also myself. By letting go of the past and looking towards the future, a whole new world opens up before you.

So to my ex-enemies: I am sorry for possibly hurting you out of resentment for how you may have treated me. I forgive you for hurting me and I forgive myself for hurting you. If you still hate me, I am sorry that you still have anger in your heart towards me. But as for myself, I have no problems with you. I hope we can be friends one day and that you find light and happiness in your life.

This is a new start for myself. This is a new me. I am washing my slates cleaning with no residue of bad friendships and relationships left behind. I've learned to be kinder, more thoughtful, and genuine through this process of forgiveness. To all of the people out there with anger in their hearts towards someone: I hope you can find forgiveness one day when you're ready. I promise it will all be worth it.