As the last semester of my first year of college begins, I have found myself feeling overwhelmed with a lot of repetitive thoughts. The most prominent one being, "What the hell am I doing?" and a little bit of, "Am I going to be good at whatever the hell I decided to do?"
I have been told countless times by family members and older friends that college kids are constantly changing their major and switching up what they want to do. While I can't say that I have any desire to change my major entirely, I have been feeling engulfed by the possibility that I might not be good at what I want to do.
This is a scary thought to have and a thought that holds me back from trying a lot of different things in college. Weird right? Because how am I supposed to figure out if I actually am any good at what I want to pursue if I never get out and actually try it before junior year rolls around?
There is a feeling of intimidation that I feel as well due to the fact that a lot of the people around me are involved in a thousand clubs and have applied for internships. That feeling of intimidation leaves me with a sense of defeat.
And then I remember...
I'm just starting my second semester of my freshman year! I don't need to have it all figured out yet and I highly doubt that I'm the only one here that feels overwhelmed. I'm involved in a couple clubs I enjoy and I'm taking advantage of the classes I take to truly figure out what it is I want to do.
So yes, this is intimidating and this is scary, but it's also just the beginning. This is almost a letter to myself, just as a reminder that I will figure it out. I will be great at whatever it is I choose to do. While it is up to me to determine my success during my four years here, I also have four years. That's not an excuse to procrastinate either; it just gives a sense of perspective.
Far too often we create unrealistic expectations and goals for ourselves that we never seem to be able to meet and when we don't meet those goals, we feel discouraged. As the school year continues, I plan to keep things in perspective. To constantly work toward my goal but never give up when I fail and never feel discouraged when I don't feel like I'm making enough progress.
I will get there, I will be successful and it will be wonderful.
