The 'Fifty Shades' Trilogy Is NOT An Abuse Story

The 'Fifty Shades' Trilogy Is NOT An Abuse Story

There is so much love between Ana and Christian, but there is not abuse.
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Recently, I came across another Odyssey article about the "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy. Now, as someone who has read all three books and watched all three movies, I respectfully disagree with what this author has stated.

Firstly, the author clearly states "I have not and will never go see or read any of the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' trilogy." Just out of curiosity, how can you make such an accusation without having witnessed anything in the books or movies? Yes, we all know the basic plot line. Yes, it is about a BDSM relationship. Yes, it can be intense. Yes, the movie trailers show some of the crazy things the couple does, regarding their BDSM relationship. However, without having seen or read anything, you can't assume it is all abuse.

Secondly, everything that happens between main characters Ana and Christian is consensual. When Christian decides to pursue Ana, he tells her he won't do anything until she has agreed and gotten her written consent. In the first book/movie, they have a formal business meeting. Christian tells Ana to set her limits to what is comfortable for her. She has him cross off anything she has no interest in doing, and Christian respects the boundaries she sets.

Third, in the event of something going wrong, there is a safe word. There are actually two safe words. One means 'I'm overwhelmed slow down,' and the other means 'stop everything I am uncomfortable.' Christian constantly reminds Ana that she may use her safe word whenever she feels it is necessary, and the one time she used it, he immediately ceased all actions.

Also, Christian tells us that several of his previous submissives sought him out, unlike how he approached Ana in this case. However, they all also agreed to what they were getting into, and also set their own boundaries. In reference to the "abusive instances," which were "1. Stalking 2. Intimidation 3. Isolation 4. Sexual Violence," Christian never portrayed these characteristics.

As a powerful and wealthy man, Christian had background checks done on his possible submissives, making sure everything checked out okay. This is not uncommon among people of power. For instance, prenups are commonly drawn up for someone marrying someone, or the family, of a powerful person. This is to weed out anyone with bad intentions. This is NOT stalking. When him and Ana were married, he had security stay with each of them at all times in case something were to happen, which was the case for a third party.

Ana was a strong woman and her character grew a great deal from the beginning to end. She was never scared or intimidated by Christian. He asked his submissives to stay at his penthouse on weekends, but he never isolated them. In fact, he gave them their own bedroom on the opposite side of his penthouse, in reference to his bedroom.

Regarding a BDSM relationship, it can get pretty intense. Again, though, there are boundaries. Ana set her boundaries with Christian, and he never crossed them if she did not feel one hundred percent okay with it. He tried new things with her at times, but it was nothing that could harm her or make her uncomfortable.

I can definitely see how one could perceive this plot as abuse; however, it really isn't. This IS a love story, just not your typical one. There are many couples out there who have relationships like this one, but it isn't displayed in movie/book form so everyone turns a head. The relationship between Ana and Christian is crazy. They have so many obstacles before they end up where they do, they fight, they struggle, they adjust, but there is so much love there. There is not abuse.

Cover Image Credit: Fifty Shades/Instagram

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14 Inspirational 'Winnie The Pooh' Quotes For College Kids Feeling Like Eeyore

Of course he with the help of his friends.

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Winnie the Pooh and his friends were my best buds as a child. Now, as a college student, I've realized they knew more about life than I thought.

These 14 quotes from the 'Winnie the Pooh' movies, TV shows, and books, is getting me through this difficult semester, and maybe it will help you, too.

"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -Christopher Robin

"The nicest thing about rain is that it always stops. Eventually." -Eeyore

"The things that make me different are the things that make me." -Piglet

"It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine." -Eeyore

"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day." -Winnie the Pooh

"Don't underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering." -Piglet

"Could be worse. Not sure how, but it could be." -Eeyore

"Spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count." -Rabbit

"There's no difference between falling a thousand feet to the jagged rocks below and tumbling out of bed." -Tigger

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." -Winnie the Pooh

"I always get to where I'm going by walking away from where I have been." -Winnie the Pooh

"To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks." -Eeyore 

"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for other to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." -Piglet

"When you are a bear of very little brain, and you think of things, you find sometimes that a thing which seemed very thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it." -Winnie the Pooh

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Board Games Are More Important Than You Think They Are

They've become a defining part of my family.

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Remember when you were a kid and you'd have a family game night? Or your friends would come over and you'd open the game cabinet and play at least three different games together?

Maybe it's just me, but those are some of my best memories from my childhood. My family loves games, board games, and electronic games.

Of course, as I got older, gaming consoles like PlayStation and Wii became more and more popular. That meant that the game cabinet was opened less and less, collecting dust.

Thankfully, I live in New Jersey near the shore and Hurricane Sandy left my family with no power for five days. Sure, it was scary not having power and walking around my neighborhood seeing fallen trees or roof shingles, but we were inland enough to not have had any flood water damage.

No power also meant no PlayStation or Wii games. The gaming cabinet was opened again, this time with vigor. Now, four years later, and I still think about sitting in the dark with a flashlight playing Scrabble with my family.

That was also the week I learned how to play Yahtzee and dominated my dad in every game. My sister constantly was looking for someone to play her to Battleship. We exhausted Rummikub.

The game was already a family favorite, and that's including extended family. Family barbeques had been ending with late night games of Rummikub for at least a year by the time Sandy hit.

We were ready to strategize and crunch numbers, but after day three, we never wanted to a number ever again.

This semester, there's been a surge of board game love again in my family. My sister bought Jenga, which we are currently trying to exhaust ourselves with. My favorite board game also had a comeback: Life.

I loved this game so much that I had the SpongeBob version as a kid. I would play it with my best friend, just the two of us, playing game after game of Bikini Bottom themed Life. Now, I have a car full of "kids" that I've started to make pets in my head. I can handle having five pretend dogs, but not five pretend kids.

I don't know what it is about board games, but my family has always had an affinity for them. We've gone through our cycles of playing video games and card games, but we always come back to the classics. Maybe it's more a defining part of my family than I originally thought.

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