The 'Fifty Shades' Trilogy Is NOT An Abuse Story

The 'Fifty Shades' Trilogy Is NOT An Abuse Story

There is so much love between Ana and Christian, but there is not abuse.

Recently, I came across another Odyssey article about the "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy. Now, as someone who has read all three books and watched all three movies, I respectfully disagree with what this author has stated.

Firstly, the author clearly states "I have not and will never go see or read any of the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' trilogy." Just out of curiosity, how can you make such an accusation without having witnessed anything in the books or movies? Yes, we all know the basic plot line. Yes, it is about a BDSM relationship. Yes, it can be intense. Yes, the movie trailers show some of the crazy things the couple does, regarding their BDSM relationship. However, without having seen or read anything, you can't assume it is all abuse.

Secondly, everything that happens between main characters Ana and Christian is consensual. When Christian decides to pursue Ana, he tells her he won't do anything until she has agreed and gotten her written consent. In the first book/movie, they have a formal business meeting. Christian tells Ana to set her limits to what is comfortable for her. She has him cross off anything she has no interest in doing, and Christian respects the boundaries she sets.

Third, in the event of something going wrong, there is a safe word. There are actually two safe words. One means 'I'm overwhelmed slow down,' and the other means 'stop everything I am uncomfortable.' Christian constantly reminds Ana that she may use her safe word whenever she feels it is necessary, and the one time she used it, he immediately ceased all actions.

Also, Christian tells us that several of his previous submissives sought him out, unlike how he approached Ana in this case. However, they all also agreed to what they were getting into, and also set their own boundaries. In reference to the "abusive instances," which were "1. Stalking 2. Intimidation 3. Isolation 4. Sexual Violence," Christian never portrayed these characteristics.

As a powerful and wealthy man, Christian had background checks done on his possible submissives, making sure everything checked out okay. This is not uncommon among people of power. For instance, prenups are commonly drawn up for someone marrying someone, or the family, of a powerful person. This is to weed out anyone with bad intentions. This is NOT stalking. When him and Ana were married, he had security stay with each of them at all times in case something were to happen, which was the case for a third party.

Ana was a strong woman and her character grew a great deal from the beginning to end. She was never scared or intimidated by Christian. He asked his submissives to stay at his penthouse on weekends, but he never isolated them. In fact, he gave them their own bedroom on the opposite side of his penthouse, in reference to his bedroom.

Regarding a BDSM relationship, it can get pretty intense. Again, though, there are boundaries. Ana set her boundaries with Christian, and he never crossed them if she did not feel one hundred percent okay with it. He tried new things with her at times, but it was nothing that could harm her or make her uncomfortable.

I can definitely see how one could perceive this plot as abuse; however, it really isn't. This IS a love story, just not your typical one. There are many couples out there who have relationships like this one, but it isn't displayed in movie/book form so everyone turns a head. The relationship between Ana and Christian is crazy. They have so many obstacles before they end up where they do, they fight, they struggle, they adjust, but there is so much love there. There is not abuse.

Cover Image Credit: Fifty Shades/Instagram

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If Jay Gatsby Got A Do Over

What if there was a redo button for our tragic hero?

My all time-favorite story by FAR has always been The Great Gatsby. I was that nerd in high school who poured through the pages of the book wanting more and more, just wanting Gatsby and Daisy to end up together. That book has taught me more about life and relationships than anything else in the world.

So recently I started to think, what if the story ended differently? What if the characters chose differently, what would happen? If anyone in the book deserves a do-over, I believe it's Gatsby himself. The guy pines over the love of his life for five years, only to discover that she's not only a horrible person, but married, and using him when they finally have the opportunity to be together. That, sucks.

But what would he do with a do over? As a lover of the book, it's really hard for me to imagine this. How far would he go back to change things?

What if he never met Daisy? What if he never had "the one"? The story would be incredibly boring for one. For two, what is the point of it all then? Yes, he might not get heartbroken, he might avoid a lot of awkward conversations, and he probably wouldn't get shot at the end (sorry, spoiler), but what would all his success have been for?

I think F. Scott Fitzgerald was trying to teach us through Gatsby and Daisy that worldly possessions are nice, but what are they worth if you have no one to share it with?

It's interesting to imagine Gatsby still being the poor boy that he was meant to grow up as, and trying to win Daisy's affection still. As the person she grew up to be, she would never have even looked in his direction. But what then? Would he have ended up with someone else? Someone more real, down to earth, and sensible?

Gatsby's fears are realized at the end of the story, he dies alone. His chance with Daisy is gone. I like to think that if he had not attracted so much of that fear into his life, he may have had the opportunity to live happily.

All in all, if a do over was possible, this would not be the story we all know and love. I believe that is part of the lesson, things happen for a reason. There aren't always happy endings, and we have to learn to be okay with that because that's how life is.

Cover Image Credit: Wikipedia

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20 Times 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt' Accurately Represented College Life

Unbreakable but rarely feeling that way... sums up college.

If you've never seen "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" on Netflix, it is definitely worth a watch! Funny and relatable characters deal with everyday problems as well as some pretty unique ones with humor and bravery. Though it's called "unbreakable" these characters totally relate to the same struggles us college kids experience on the daily. Here are 20 times "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" accurately represented college life.

1. When you first get on campus

2. When you consider going somewhere for dinner

3. Trying to meet new people like

4. When people are trying to hand you flyers around campus

5. Feeling like a grown up and hating it

6. Sitting through a vocab-heavy class

7. Walking through the rain across campus

8. When you have your second exam of the day

9. Discussing politics in class

10. When someone is being fake AF

11. Drinking for the first time

12. When you have to listen to a monotone lecture at 8 am

13. Feeling like you're in the wrong class

14. When you know you're gonna ace that test

15. Deciding to withdraw from the ATM

16. Stressed out during finals week

17. Getting put in groups for busy work in class

18. When your roommates are blasting music at 3 am on a Tuesday

19. When there is a ridiculously hard question on an exam

20. Finding your own voice for the first time

Cover Image Credit: Universal Television

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