If You're A Current Resident Of Rock Bottom It's Time To Climb Yourself Out

If You're A Current Resident Of Rock Bottom It's Time To Climb Yourself Out

Life changes start happening after you start having conversations that matter.

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Raise your hand if you've ever been stuck at rock bottom and camped out there for a while.

Okay, raise your hand if you've ever been stuck there and tried to save face just to prove to others that you can handle it on your own.

Anyone here, not raising their hand?

If that's you, seriously God bless you, but you're probably not ready to hear the rest of this. Or maybe, you REALLY need to hear the rest of this.

So to anyone and everyone, wherever you are, brew yourself a cup of coffee because this is for you.

As a reoccurring resident of rock bottom, I'd like to officially welcome you here to remind you that you're not alone. And no, you're not going to stay here forever but that part relies solely on how willing you are to climb out.

You see, I'm speaking directly to the ones like me who have done all they can to save face and pretend they have it all together. The ones acting like they have something to prove to the people that matter most to them.

It's time for a fierce conversation.

"The purposes of fierce conversations. Interrogate reality. Provoke learning. Tackle tough challenges. Enrich relationships."
- Susan Scott

Now, if fierce conversations were easy you wouldn't have to be fierce about it.

Let me preface the following by saying, I didn't want to do this either. I was perfectly comfortable saving face and being in my own little bubble.

Too bad that saving face held me back from the depth in my relationships that I so incredibly craved.

"But fierce conversation is one in which you come out from behind yourself, into the conversation and make it real."
-Susan Scott

We all have this desire to be fully known, but we're also deeply afraid of what being known will bring to us.

Will it bring rejection? Will it bring change and growth? Will the conversation be a success or will it have failed and proved us right for saving face?

Here's the secret I wish I learned a year ago: THERE'S NOTHING TO PROVE.

To you or to anyone else.

Because hi, hello, no one has it all together. And if they do, don't you think you could learn from them?

If you're stuck complaining about how you're not growing, it's time to start changing.

And one of the best ways to see your progress is to have someone else alongside you, reminding you of how far you've come.

So I've welcomed you to Rock bottom. Now say hello to my friend accountability, the actual best and worst friend you will ever have.

Accountability reminds you that you are responsible for the change you want to see in your life.

Accountability kicks you in the butt in the morning to get you to the gym.

Accountability pushes you to become disciplined.

Accountability reminds you of everything you said you wanted when you really don't want to hear them. And again, when you ignored it the first time and now regret it.

So why have fierce conversations if this is what it leads to? I know, it's scary. And I know you really don't want to do it.

But how else are you going to start climbing out of the bit that you're in?

It starts with just going up to one person and trusting them with the real you. The one that's hiding in your little bubble.

And if you don't know what to say, let me get you started.

"Hey, I just need to know you're proud of me."

"I need you to know where I'm at. I need to know that I'm not crazy."

"I need help.

That's all it takes for accountability to come in and become your friend whether you like it or not.

No one has ever said they love accountability right off the bat. I'm not going to sugar coat it, you'll absolutely hate it.

But when you see your progress, you'll love how far you've come and that there's good in it.

I don't have it all together either. I'm not where I want to be or where I need to be, but I know I will get there. So will you.

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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There Is No 'Right Way' To React To A Shooting

Everyone is different.

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After the shootings this year in New Zealand, Brazil, and close to home for some of us Aurora, people have been reacting in different ways. With some offering their thoughts and prayers, donating money to help pay for the funerals of the victims, fighting for action in regards to ending gun violence, candlelight vigils basically anything that can help them in this time of grief.

There is no right or wrong way to react to a shooting — everyone grieves in their own ways. We should not judge one another for how we grieve in a tragedy.

People have been saying that thoughts and prayers won't do anything. However, maybe it can be a comfort to some people—a way to let people know that they are thinking of them and that they care.

Sometimes people may want to donate money or blood to help out any survivors who may have suffered from blood loss or create GoFundMe accounts to either help out with medical expenses or to pay for the funerals of the victims or even start charities like Islamic Relief USA. Donating your time and money is a good way to help out because you are making a difference that is a form of action you are taking.

There is also grieving in the form of vigils. One example of a vigil is this guy who makes crosses every time there is some kind of tragedy. Vigils are often a good way to remember the victims, to pray for the healing of the survivors, to talk about what they were like as people.

Some people even want to take action by demanding that the laws change a good example of this would be March for Our Lives, which happened after the Parkland shooting last year. This march was fighting for gun control or should I say changes in the gun laws America currently has.

Some people also do acts of solidarity, for example, wearing a hijab like the prime minister of New Zealand did when she went to go visit the Christchurch shooting survivors. My community college had something a couple of years ago called Hijab Day to help show solidarity with our friends. I participated, and it was quite an experience—no one should ever be afraid to be who they are.

There is never a right or wrong way to react, and no one should ever criticize one another for how they react. It's not a test where there is a right or wrong answer—everyone is different and that is okay.

No one should ever have to be afraid to go to school, go to work, or go to their place of worship or wherever they decide to go. Whatever we decide to do to make a change, as long as we are taking some kind of action, is good enough for me.

Nothing ever gets done by sitting around and doing nothing, so whatever it is you do, get out there and do it. As long as you are showing support it doesn't matter how you show it.

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