Raise your hand if you've ever been stuck at rock bottom and camped out there for a while.
Okay, raise your hand if you've ever been stuck there and tried to save face just to prove to others that you can handle it on your own.
Anyone here, not raising their hand?
If that's you, seriously God bless you, but you're probably not ready to hear the rest of this. Or maybe, you REALLY need to hear the rest of this.
So to anyone and everyone, wherever you are, brew yourself a cup of coffee because this is for you.
As a reoccurring resident of rock bottom, I'd like to officially welcome you here to remind you that you're not alone. And no, you're not going to stay here forever but that part relies solely on how willing you are to climb out.
You see, I'm speaking directly to the ones like me who have done all they can to save face and pretend they have it all together. The ones acting like they have something to prove to the people that matter most to them.
It's time for a fierce conversation.
"The purposes of fierce conversations. Interrogate reality. Provoke learning. Tackle tough challenges. Enrich relationships."
- Susan Scott
Now, if fierce conversations were easy you wouldn't have to be fierce about it.
Let me preface the following by saying, I didn't want to do this either. I was perfectly comfortable saving face and being in my own little bubble.
Too bad that saving face held me back from the depth in my relationships that I so incredibly craved.
"But fierce conversation is one in which you come out from behind yourself, into the conversation and make it real."
We all have this desire to be fully known, but we're also deeply afraid of what being known will bring to us.
Will it bring rejection? Will it bring change and growth? Will the conversation be a success or will it have failed and proved us right for saving face?
Here's the secret I wish I learned a year ago: THERE'S NOTHING TO PROVE.
To you or to anyone else.
Because hi, hello, no one has it all together. And if they do, don't you think you could learn from them?
If you're stuck complaining about how you're not growing, it's time to start changing.
And one of the best ways to see your progress is to have someone else alongside you, reminding you of how far you've come.
So I've welcomed you to Rock bottom. Now say hello to my friend accountability, the actual best and worst friend you will ever have.
Accountability reminds you that you are responsible for the change you want to see in your life.
Accountability kicks you in the butt in the morning to get you to the gym.
Accountability pushes you to become disciplined.
Accountability reminds you of everything you said you wanted when you really don't want to hear them. And again, when you ignored it the first time and now regret it.
So why have fierce conversations if this is what it leads to? I know, it's scary. And I know you really don't want to do it.
But how else are you going to start climbing out of the bit that you're in?
It starts with just going up to one person and trusting them with the real you. The one that's hiding in your little bubble.
And if you don't know what to say, let me get you started.
"Hey, I just need to know you're proud of me."
"I need you to know where I'm at. I need to know that I'm not crazy."
"I need help.
That's all it takes for accountability to come in and become your friend whether you like it or not.
No one has ever said they love accountability right off the bat. I'm not going to sugar coat it, you'll absolutely hate it.
But when you see your progress, you'll love how far you've come and that there's good in it.
I don't have it all together either. I'm not where I want to be or where I need to be, but I know I will get there. So will you.