Female.. Male.. Non-Binary?
Politics and Activism

Female.. Male.. Non-Binary?

What does it feel like to not associate with your assigned sex?

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Wikimedia Commons

Remember the Toy Story doll that was a baby head missing an eye with a metallic crab-like body that you couldn't keep your eyes off of because it just wasn't right? Imagine waking up every day and looking in the mirror just to feel like that. To feel like you weren't made right and it's just not supposed to be.

Many people feel like this, including YouTube singer, Sade Bolger, from the day puberty hits or even before. Sade experienced an "overwhelming amount of dysphoria" feeling "a lot of discomfort, hate, self consciousness" about his body. He hid his then female body in any way possible until discovering top surgery, the removal of breasts. He discussed this possibility with his parents and they welcome the idea with open arms and began the process.

Though he was extremely anxious, the idea of finally being comfortable in his own body had overcome any negative thoughts very easily. This was a comfort he never thought he'd be able to have; it was what he needed most.

I had the opportunity to Skype with Sade through this process when his whole world was changing for the better. He said that he finally felt normal and had nothing to hide, especially on stage or in front of the camera where he feels most natural. When I had asked him to rate the life change on a scale of one to ten, he did not hesitate to say "infinite". Months after the top surgery, Sade decided it was time to take a leap of faith by starting testosterone, which was concerning due to his passion for singing; he didn't know how it would affect his voice exactly. Now nine months on T, he's still singing and playing his instruments, but has also found a newborn passion.

Taking on the role of a model in the LGBTQ+ community, Sade has made some vlogs and films about the transition, gender, sexuality, etc. Sade says that this is his chance to not only teach people about the LGBTQ+ community, but also to help inspire others to be themselves and take all necessary steps to become comfortable in their own skin. In our interview, his main message to all was, "Be yourself; openly, happily, contently, and completely unapologetically. Don't feel bad for being gay or trans. Don't feel like you have to hide it. Don't feel scared. Know that there are millions of people in the world that are just exactly like you."

Sade wants this message to reach those in need, those in the closet, those who weren't accepted for who they are, and he wants to make a difference in their lives. Furthering his career in music, he is studying music education and social justice pathways at the University of Vermont. After seeing a plethora of positive comments on his videos saying that his voice made everything seem okay, Sade said his main goal is to create therapeutic effects with his music for anyone that will listen, whether they support his decision to transition or not.

Listen to his story here, or on his YouTube channel, https://www.youtube.com/user/sadiebolja/videos.

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