Parents love their children no matter what, except when there are exceptions. Like taking long showers that use up all the hot water. Filling the kitchen and fridge with food only you eat. Coming home at the break of dawn when everyone else is still dreaming inside. Waking up too early, waking up too late, this bird has been grounded for flapping its wings one too many times. The family affair can grow tiresome and thinning and when you are the last to fly the nest, you go through these five emotions.
1. Loneliness.
An apartment complex, a townhouse or where ever you call your home away home, there are moments where you miss being a dependent. The rules were straightforward if not fair under your parents' roof, which gave you some expectation to follow in your life. Now that you have your own place, there comes this hollow loneliness that arrives with the independence you sought after and finally received. It is a catch-22 situation. You know your parents will be there to support you, but you do not want to have to lean on them everywhere you go and for everything you do. Living on your own can get lonesome.
2. Anger.
Some frustration comes with the territory of owning your own place. Figuring it out on your own empowers you but a word of warning would have been nice to hear coming from the parents who have been around the block many times before you. This only makes you angrier on two accounts. First, you feel inferior for being young and no one takes you seriously because of your age. Second, the adults who humor you or listen to either are somewhat helpful or not at all, even if they had been in the same situation. The adult world is a weird mixture of cruel and kind that makes your first response one of anger.
3. Hesitation.
Building a social life inside and outside of work can be challenging when you are busy paying rent and everything that comes with it. Family is already included but the power to choose on your own and make up your own mind can be overwhelming. Do you eat out by yourself or order takeout and stay in for the night? Should you go to a networking event or catch up with old friends? You did not have the choice of where you grew up or the friends you would make, if only for a short time, who are on their own life paths. Having to make your own choices can be uncomfortable on your own terms without family to oversee your next step.
4. Stress.
Usually, in the form of existential angst, stress can take on many forms in your newfound freedom. You start to question the price of milk and gas. You complain that the roads are always under construction, derailing your commute to work. You are stuck in line during your lunch hour waiting to order lunch and might be late for an appointment soon after. Whatever life can throw at you, it is winding up a precision curve ball right across your home plate. When life is out of balance, the only thing left to do is to acknowledge the stress you are under, now and potentially later.
5. Freedom.
GiphyAll the other feelings are washed over by the greatest feeling of all: complete freedom. There is this confidence that you did not have before. The home you make for yourself is going to reflect the lifestyle you will lead with. Walking around the house naked is second nature to you now. Passing gas and enjoying your own body odor? More power to you. Under your roof, your rules apply to one person, and that is you. Just make sure the landlord does not have to break them.
Moving out is not always easy, but what makes it easy is how you move in.
