Endings are never really my thing. It never was and it never will be. To me, endings are a reminder of transcendent feelings, temporary relationships, and a permanent goodbye. It is an epitome of sadness in my own vocabulary book, because every "ending" I have gone through in my lifetime never really gave me full closure.
To say the least, closure and endings are two similar ideas with different attributes. Closure is a gradual transition, the smooth turning of the pages in a book. It is the full understanding of endings. Closure gives you a peace of mind. It is the morning coffee runs, the light jogs in the evening, and the ambience of filling up a tub to take a bath after a whole week of stress and change.
Meanwhile, endings, in my opinion, is an abrupt closing of a book. They are the slam on the brake type of moments. One second the story plays through, and the next it is ended without a resolution. It is the feeling when a song suddenly pauses, when a phone's battery dies without warning, and the feeling of every grand moment I have had until now.
It truly is in the end that one fully sees the grand picture. Looking back on time as it fervently passes you by, ticking every chance it can get, endings are a reminder of the moments you will miss the most. Endings are hard because it is bittersweet. It grabs your attention only to cut you off at the very moment you have felt complacent. I remember every single last day of school, I would come home devastated. Unlike many classmates, I dreaded the end of school years.
It's a weird feeling, in all honesty. I don't see any real reason as to why, but I guess it is not even the fear of endings; it is the fear of not knowing what happens after the ending. No one knows whether it is happiness that lies beyond or sadness that would trap you. No one knows whether the end of that school year would also be the last time you'll be close to that one person. No one knows anything beyond the "ending".
Now, it's time for the most dreaded part of the article, the ending. Maybe it will forever be my fear. Maybe it will forever be the epitome of lost friendships and moments, but maybe it can also be the start to overcoming this fear of the unknown.
