I am my Father’s son.

I am adopted. Many questions follow that fact and statement once people find this out, but one tends to stand out for me, “Is it weird not sharing characteristics with anyone in your family?” It is not weird, if anything, it’s interesting to see the different habits that each of my family members have.

I am my father’s son. I state this because I as of late recognize parts of him in me. For instance, I like to talk to older adults now about family, about current events, and such. I then find myself losing an hour because I got lost in a conversation with a random person. This is what my father did growing up and still does to this day, I remember my basketball games, theater plays, and many other activities that I was involved in, and I would notice my dad talking to people, even strangers, and they would be engaged in a full-on conversation. Being a kid, this annoyed me because there were plenty of times where my brothers, sisters, and I were ready to go and we were stuck waiting on him.

I have a better understanding of my father’s broken heart now. After we lost my brother, it wasn’t just a hard and dark time for me, but it was hard for my brothers, sisters, and my parents. As I grew older, I slowing understood his pain, but never fully grasped it, not until my little girl was born. I will do anything to ensure my little girl's safety. I look into her eyes and my heart will ache at times because I worry about her. I want her safe; I want her to know her dad is always just a name call away. Matthew and I were my father’s little buddies, to have one of his sons taken away and have the other remain as almost a reminder of what has been lost because Matthew and I seemed to be attached to hip, and it isn’t easy to deal with. A father and mother should never have to bury their children.

My stubbornness - I get that from my father. I am stubborn and will admit no problem, growing up watching my dad be stubborn whether it was fixing a vehicle or working out in the field and instead of calling someone to help fix the tractor would rather figure it out himself. I have gained that attribute from him, I notice it when I am working a task. For a recent example would be changing the wheel bearings on our Jeep, my wife would ask constantly if I needed help and my answer would always be “No, I got this.” Even when I hit a road block, just like my dad, I wouldn’t admit. We would keep it to ourselves and solve it ourselves.

We all have faults. I have them, my father has them. No one is perfect. As I get older, I appreciate my father more with each and every day that passes by, I recognize all the skills that I gained and learned from him, and I am thankful, and I wouldn’t trade him for one second. I hope that I continue to make him proud, and that he knows I understand his pain now. I am thankful for everything he’s taught me and encourage him to not miss Matthew but to rejoice about his life and remember the memories that they had together.