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What It's Really Like To Be Fatherless On Father's Day

Some days you feel nothing at all, and other days it feels like waves of grief and emotion are washing over you.

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father holding baby
Taylor Markee

Father's Day comes and goes every year but it never gets by without a little sting. The whole month of June is just a roller coaster of emotions as I walk through countless stores and see the holiday advertised everywhere. This holiday is a painful reminder of what I don't have and what I cannot do anymore.

I miss being able to buy gifts for my dad and pick out a fun-loving card just for him. This day is a painful reminder that my dad will never be there to watch me graduate from college, get my first real job, and to meet my children one day.

Even now as I go through my college career there are so many days where I wish he could be here to advise me and guide me when I feel like I have absolutely no idea what on earth I am doing. I have to constantly remind myself that he would be proud of what I am doing in college and that he wants to see me happy and not sad this month.

But those few things are definitely easier said than done.

When it comes to dealing with loss and grief, some days are harder than others. Some days you feel nothing at all, and other days it feels like waves of grief and emotion are washing over you. All there is to do about it is take one day at a time, and know that one day, the hard days will start to come less and less.

Today is a day that I remember all that I used to do with my dad, from fishing, and working for countless hours in the backyard, and watching many sunsets on the beautiful beach of Anna Maria. Although the sting is still there, it is important to take a minute and remember all the amazing times that happened.

Happy Father's Day in Heaven, Dad

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