My Weight Doesn't Determine My Worth

To The Guy Who Told My Friend That 'He Could Do Better,' My Body Does NOT Determine My Worth

FYI, I'm great in bed.

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I've been overweight my whole life. I don't have any memories of being "normal" size.

Don't blame my parents, they put in my sports and I ate lots of vegetables. For someone reason, I wasn't able to eat like other kids and be "normal."

As the "fat girl" for my whole life, I'm comfortable with that title. In many ways, it is forever ingrained in my identity. I stopped letting comments bother me in middle school.

I love my body, you don't have to.

Last night, my male best friend and I went out to a typical college bar together. Our night was remarkably normal. There was a couple about to have sex in a dancing cage, people that were too drunk bumped into us and we saw many of our friends. Stubby Tuesday is the place to be every week.

We were walking out the door, when this random guy stood up and stopped us. He leaned into and attempted to whisper to my friend.

"You can do better," he said.

Ironically, my friend couldn't hear a word this asshole said, but I could. He tried to tell him almost 5 times. Over and over again he said it. "You can do better."

I tried to explain.

"We're just friends," I said.

This guy looked at me and acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. Like I wasn't even there.

I leaned in and explained to my friend what was happening. We laughed it off and walked away.

Outside of the bar, we talked about what had just happened. We joked about it and "agreed" this random man was definitely interested in taking my guy friend home.

"I feel flattered," he said.

This guy was so concerned that my friend would have sex with a fat girl, that he needed to intervene.

To this man and other people who think this in their heads, here's what you need to know.

1. My weight doesn't determine my value.

Hi. I'm a human. I have feelings. Treat me like someone who deserves respect. I felt like an object to this guy. One that should be replaced. He doesn't have to want to be with me, but don't judge other people's choices.

2. Your actions have repercussions.

Do you read the news? Have you noticed that the things you do affect people? Think before you act. What if the woman you did that to wasn't self-confident? How would you feel if you had caused harm in her life?

3. I'm great in bed.

You'll have to take my word on this one. But you can read about it here.

4. It would be totally appropriate to ask if we're sober enough to have sex.

Just to be clear, please check in with folks about their sobriety when engaging in sex. If you're drunk, you can't have sex. One more level of irony is that I won't have drunk sex. Even if my friend and I were partners, nothing would have happened.

5. Don't tell people who they should be with.

Everyone is into different things and different people. It's not your place to judge those things. Maybe I'm not attracted to your girlfriend, but guess what, that's not my problem.

TLDR - If you don't want to sleep with me or women who look like me, you don't have to.

However, I'm a beautiful human who has value.

To the guy who stopped us: I'm my beautiful than you'll ever be.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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The Life Of A Curvy Girl Is Very Exciting

To every curvy girl out there, share your curves as a positive outcome to your circumstances

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Have you ever noticed in all the magazines, blogs, and TV it shows a thin size woman? In all the entertainment I take in, there was always a skinny woman. It brought down my self-esteem, and I would try to starve myself, yet it doesn't help. However, what if I was meant to be a curvy girl?

Before I go any further, I know that God gave me this body to take of it. But what if I was meant to be this size so, I can touch others who feel negative towards their bodies? For every curvy woman, you are so beautiful!!

Throughout my life, I wasn't thin. I had a gut. I had thighs. I was very unhappy with myself. Yet, I look at the expectations and what people will be happy with. But if there is one thing I realized, its that people are temporary. The naysayers in your life are not set in gold. They will push you to make sure that you're happy with yourself. I truly believe if people look at me weird, that means I'm doing an amazing job with not conforming in the world but transforming in the renewing of the mind. By the way, that's Romans 12:2 in the bible!

When it comes to the curves, I'm truly grateful for them. There are some positives to having a curvy body. For one, when it comes to wearing jeans, it shapes you well. The curves pop and the haters bow down! Other than that, I truly love how I look in jeans! Another positive thing about curves, its that there are amazing clothes for us! I was on Facebook the other day, and I saw a company called Dia&Co.; Dia&Co; is a customized clothing company for plus sized women which has all the styles. When I saw the clothes, I was truly amazed. The colors and the material of the clothes were truly special.

What defines beauty? Is it makeup or having a model's body? Is it buying the most expensive clothes as a statement? I'm here to tell you those are not the definitions of beauty. The true definition of beauty is acceptance. Accepting the circumstances, even if other people say so. True beauty is waking up with a smile on your face for living another day and finding your purpose in life. Beauty is being you!

To all of you curvy women out there in the world, you are truly a blessing. Thank you for standing out of the normal and taking a step to give others the courage to becoming their selves. I learned to treat my body with the utmost respect. I must learn to take care of it and embrace it at the same time. Psalms 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well." So, Instead of me being a worried progress, God made me a working progress, because all things work together for good.

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