I've been overweight my whole life. I don't have any memories of being "normal" size.
Don't blame my parents, they put in my sports and I ate lots of vegetables. For someone reason, I wasn't able to eat like other kids and be "normal."
As the "fat girl" for my whole life, I'm comfortable with that title. In many ways, it is forever ingrained in my identity. I stopped letting comments bother me in middle school.
I love my body, you don't have to.
Last night, my male best friend and I went out to a typical college bar together. Our night was remarkably normal. There was a couple about to have sex in a dancing cage, people that were too drunk bumped into us and we saw many of our friends. Stubby Tuesday is the place to be every week.
We were walking out the door, when this random guy stood up and stopped us. He leaned into and attempted to whisper to my friend.
"You can do better," he said.
Ironically, my friend couldn't hear a word this asshole said, but I could. He tried to tell him almost 5 times. Over and over again he said it. "You can do better."
I tried to explain.
"We're just friends," I said.
This guy looked at me and acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. Like I wasn't even there.
I leaned in and explained to my friend what was happening. We laughed it off and walked away.
Outside of the bar, we talked about what had just happened. We joked about it and "agreed" this random man was definitely interested in taking my guy friend home.
"I feel flattered," he said.
This guy was so concerned that my friend would have sex with a fat girl, that he needed to intervene.
To this man and other people who think this in their heads, here's what you need to know.
1. My weight doesn't determine my value.
Hi. I'm a human. I have feelings. Treat me like someone who deserves respect. I felt like an object to this guy. One that should be replaced. He doesn't have to want to be with me, but don't judge other people's choices.
2. Your actions have repercussions.
Do you read the news? Have you noticed that the things you do affect people? Think before you act. What if the woman you did that to wasn't self-confident? How would you feel if you had caused harm in her life?
3. I'm great in bed.
You'll have to take my word on this one. But you can read about it here.
4. It would be totally appropriate to ask if we're sober enough to have sex.
Just to be clear, please check in with folks about their sobriety when engaging in sex. If you're drunk, you can't have sex. One more level of irony is that I won't have drunk sex. Even if my friend and I were partners, nothing would have happened.
5. Don't tell people who they should be with.
Everyone is into different things and different people. It's not your place to judge those things. Maybe I'm not attracted to your girlfriend, but guess what, that's not my problem.
TLDR - If you don't want to sleep with me or women who look like me, you don't have to.
However, I'm a beautiful human who has value.
To the guy who stopped us: I'm my beautiful than you'll ever be.