Gender neutral names are becoming very popular in today's day and age. I am one of those people with one of those names. Obviously you don't meet too many girls named Ryan in your life since the ones you meet are usually male. Some people are in such shock when they hear my name that the most unusual things come out of their mouths. In my 19 years of living, I have been told things and asked questions that seem to be on everyone's mind once I introduce myself. Some are more shocking than others, but in the end I have curated a response that seems to roll off my tongue without thought when they are heard.
1. "Wait... What did you say?"
Yes, you heard me right. My name is Ryan.
2. "You're Ryan?"
Yes I am. Please believe me when I say I'm present for attendance Mr. Substitute Teacher and please don't send me to the office because you think I'm trying to pull a fast one on you.
3. "Isn't Ryan a boy's name?"
Typically, yes. But in this situation, that isn't the case.
4. "How do you spell that?"
The normal way. R-Y-A-N. Not R-H-I-A-N-N-E. Not R-I-A-N. Not R-I-A-N-E. Not R-Y-I-N. Not R-Y-A-N-N. Just R-Y-A-N. Please make your life easier and not try to be outlandish when writing my name on my Starbucks cup.
5. "I love that name for a girl!"
Thank you! I appreciate you saying that after you just low-key questioned my being!
6. "Were you going to be named Ryan if you were born a boy too?"
I actually wasn't. My parents planned on naming me Cullen James but since that didn't work out, I fully intend on using that name for my first born son.
7. "It's so nice meeting someone else with a gender neutral name! Being a girl with a typical guy's name is so hard sometimes!"
Yes. People can be idiots. But I encourage you to keep telling me how your gender neutral name has been really hard on your life, Taylor.
8. "What if you dated a guy named Ryan? You would be Ryan and Ryan!"
That concept isn't as funny as you think it would be. I actually did date a guy named Ryan and it ended up being like any other relationship just with more snarky comments from my friends and family.
7. "Are you transgender?"
Nope. I was born a female and still am one 19 years later. I encourage you to apologize for asking me such a thing.
So, next time you find yourself in conversation with anyone with a gender neutral name, please keep these encounters in mind because the things you say may be more confusing or hurtful than you mean them to be. My best piece of advice for you, especially in this day and age, is don't ask until they tell. Wait for the right moment to ask a question or say something in a conversation rather than being the conversation starter.
