For most families, road trips are a source of immense pleasure; novelty has its charms, after all. However, I think the idea of the ‘family road trip’ has been romanticized entirely too much and that some of the more annoying aspects of road trips are often overlooked.
1. The persistent presence of the alphabet game
By the time we finish any road trip, I suppose my family has played this game no less than a dozen times and made even the language enthusiast in me shrivel away as I think of how much I hate the alphabet. After our last trip, I’ll be glad if I never have to name another person whose name starts with the letter “A” ever again.
2. Running out of snacks
If the giant bags of junk food are one of the perks of long drives, then running out of our stock of junk food is the inevitable downside. It really puts a damper on the family spirit when the last chocolate chip cookie has to be split into five equal pieces and you’re wondering why no one in your family can ever be counted upon to exemplify the spirit of sacrifice for your sake.
3. The technology lecture
There comes a point in every car trip where my parents (especially my dad) will launch into how technology is ruining our generation and command us to put away our phones or laptops or DVD players or whatever we might be engaged in—of course, we usually are engrossed in some form of technology but isn’t that what technology was created for?
4. Trees look the same everywhere
Characters in books always seem to find it an immense relief that despite the changes they are undergoing in life, the ‘sky is the same everywhere’. Well, that’s certainly the case of American highways and I like to point out to my parents when the inevitable technology lecture is followed by injunctions to “enjoy nature”, that trees look the same everywhere. There’s only so many trees and open plains you can observe before you are fully satiated.
5. Siblings that believe they’re ancient royalty
My mother sometimes laughs that my father’s side of the family have an imperial side that suggests they’re descended from royalty; it must have carried on to my younger siblings because when they sit in the car, they might as well be the Raja and Rani of some ancient Indian empire. Both of them claim the back seat for them to stretch out fully on and bundle themselves up in comforters, reclining on multiple pillows as they prepare to while the hours away.
6. Bathroom breaks
I know it’s entirely too much to expect everyone’s bladders to be in sync but it grates on one’s nerves when right after a publicly announced bathroom break, someone in the family realizes that–surprise!—they need to use the loo. And the humiliation of six people looking like they just rose from the grave and walking into Burger King only to ask where the bathrooms truly can’t be beaten.
7. “Are we there yet?”
If there’s anyone ten or under along on the road trip is, expect to hear some reiteration of this question approximately once every three minutes. And because asking the question numerous times in no way shortens the time of trip (contrary to what my little brother may believe), having to hear just how much longer I’ll be forced to endure the car trip every three minutes is a frustration I could do without.
