The best part about the holiday’s when I was younger were the presents. It was always a competition between my brother and I to see who had the most stuff or who had the best stuff. While he was tearing open a new X-Box or Playstation I was busy ripping open new books and movies. That was exactly how I liked it though, because by the time he had finished opening all of his gifts I still had a mountain to go. One year my brother actually had the gall to say, “that’s it?” after opening all of his presents. My parents heads whipped around so fast I thought they had broken their necks. However since it was Christmas they let it go and responded with a quick, “that’s it bud”. We still talk and laugh about that story to this day.
As the years passed though and I began to distance myself from my family I had realized that while the presents were nice they were no longer the driving force behind my happiness on the holidays. The first Christmas after I moved out I was still angry at my parents. They were strict on me while growing up and pushed me hard to succeed, which as a teenager just fuled my inner angst. When the holidays rolled around I brought my new boyfriend, who they had probably only said a total of three words to prior to this, to the house without asking. After they got over the initial annoyance of an unexpected visitor they accepted him warmly. This was the first sign that maybe there was more to the holidays than the gifts under the tree. Perhaps having my family smile at the happiness I shared with my boyfriend and his show of gratitude towards them was enough to warm my heart, even if it was still full of angst.
By the next year my family and I were back on good terms and I was finally pulling in enough income to buy everyone in my family real gifts for the holidays; even the ones who couldn't make it. I was so unconcerned with what I wanted that by the time my parents asked I was so dumbfounded that I just told them whatever they thought I would like.
I remember showing up to my parents house at ten in the morning with all of my gifts and a waffle iron in tow. My boyfriend had decided to spend this year with his family so I was alone. For awhile it was almost like old times. I took orders and made everyone specialized waffles then battled with my brother over who had the coolest stocking stuffers. When the rest of my family arrived around one we stood together over the island telling and retelling stories. Finally as my dad placed the prime rib on the dining room table we quickly rushed to enjoy. As presents began to be given out I chose to deliver mine individually. I basked in every single hug and “thank you” that was thrown my way. In that moment I had lost all thoughts of my presents hidden away in the front room. All I cared about was the fact that I had managed to make my family feel a fraction of the joy that they brought me daily.
This year, however, was the best year of all. While the presents did bring my enough joy to light up several street lamps, the best part was sitting on the couch with my family after everyone had left. We watched a scary movie and laughed every time my mom jumped or I made a guess about the plot. It didn’t feel like a holiday, instead it felt like everyday that I had missed out on as a kid because I was too angry at the world to enjoy what was right in front of me. All I could think was, “How could it have taken me so long to realize how important family is?” This final thought was what led me to fully discovering the true meaning of family. At the end of the day materialism won’t help you if you pop a tire on the highway or hit a parked car in a parking lot. My family are the ones who have supported me through everything and will continue supporting me for as long as they can. They are what the holidays are all about.
