Yes, I Failed A Midterm And That's Okay

Yes, I Failed A Midterm And That's Okay

I promise it's not the end of the world.
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Leaving campus last Friday, I felt nothing but confident about my midterms. I had passed my Stats and French II tests. The only thing standing in between me and my break was my Foreign Government midterm. I had made numerous Quizlets that went over the 7 weeks of material we had already covered and the additional readings outside of class.

I remember even staying at the Tech Center until 2 in the morning and going back to my dorm to study even more. Even when I was taking the exam, I felt so confident about how well I did. We were allowed to skip one question per section, which I did on the ones I did not feel that confident about.

When I walked into class Monday morning, my professor announced he had our test scores. He started off with, "Scores were lower than I had expected," but already mentioned he would probably curve the test. I was nervous, but then had hope when he said, "Some of you did exceptionally well," before proceeding into the "You have to study and read," speech.

From the hard work and time put into studying, I knew I had to be one of the few who did well. He called us up in reverse alphabetical order (which only added more to my nerves since my last name starts with A). My friend and I were among the last to receive our tests, so we went up to receive our fate together. That was when I felt my world shatter.

I had gotten a 50%, and the curve only brought me up to 63%. I have failed tests in the past in AP Biology my junior year of high school, but we had worksheets and labs that balanced my grade out to a high B by the end of the year. With my Foreign Government class, on the other hand, we do nothing except take notes and have three tests.

To say I was on the verge of tears and wanting to drop out is not an exaggeration. I have never taken failure that well. Since going to public school in 8th grade, I have felt the pressure to do good. Then, when I got into honors class freshman year, there was the added pressure that I needed to be among the top of my class and bad grades were not acceptable.

This overall pressure intensified when I got into AP classes junior year and was starting to look at colleges. I thought that I had to go to the best school possible. I never get upset about getting Bs or even a high C that much anymore, but anything under a 75% is where I lose it. On top of that, I fortunately made Dean's List last semester and am determined to do it again. Now, that felt like it would be impossible.

And even back home, there are people who do hold me to a standard since I moved away. I know there are people who ended up moving back home, and that ultimately would be my failure. When I found out I failed my midterm this week, I believed I was on a direct path to my biggest fear.

I texted my mom, afraid of how she'd react after finding out about my grade. Was I overreacting? Probably. My mother reminded me that this was a lesson, and that I was inevitably going to hit a "bump in the road" in college. Mothers are always right. My first semester of college was definitely easy, but I did work really hard.

After texting my mother, I began analyzing how I actually studied. I'll be honest when I saw I might not have dedicated that much time like I originally attended. I might have crammed for the exam a couple of days before hand. Maybe I rushed during the exam? I did feel rather confident and I remember going over my answers to make sure I had enough details, but yet, maybe I didn't do it thoroughly?

I also did miss a few classes, but what college student doesn't? On top of all that, I was spending a lot more time partying and just hanging out rather than studying when I should be, which also explains why I crammed a few days prior to the exam.

At this point, my mind was spinning with anxiety, so I ended up emailing my professor. I explained my worries about potentially failing the class and what I could do to boost my grade. He mentioned an extra credit assignment where we can go through our exams and give correct answers to receive points back.

He explained that I would end up receiving 76% or 77% back, but the midterm wasn't actually a midterm. It only was a small portion and that 70% of the overall grade still needed to be accumulated through various objectives, another midterm, and a final. So technically, no, I wasn't failing.

Even during class, before passing exams, my professor did acknowledge the fact he might have made the test too hard. I knew that I did put hard work, though I obviously could have done better. It was almost a wake up call that sometimes we do have to fail in order to succeed. It is not this all-or-nothing situation where one grade decides our future.

You cannot let one little setback ruin your whole perspective. Sure, it is disappointing not to get the results you want even when you put in all the work, but you have to keep pushing for what you want most. What doesn't kill you make you stronger.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Stop Discourging Future Teachers

One day, you'll be thankful for us.
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“What do you want to be when you grow up?" It seems like this is the question we heard from the time we were able to talk. Our answers started out as whatever movie or action figure was popular that year. I personally was going to be Cinderella and shoot spider webs out of my wrists at the same time. The next phase was spent choosing something that we read about in a book or saw in movies. We were aspiring to be actors, skydivers, and astronauts.

After we realized NASA may not necessarily be interested in every eager 10-year-old, we went through the unknown stage. This chapter of life can last a year or for some, forever. I personally did not have a long “unknown" stage. I knew I was going to be a teacher, more specifically I knew I wanted to do elementary or special education. I come from a family of educators, so it was no surprise that at all the Thanksgiving and Christmas functions I had actually figured it out. The excitement of knowing what to do with the rest of my life quickly grew and then began to dwindle just as fast.

“Why?"

"Well, looks like you'll be broke all your life."

“That's a lot of paperwork."

“If I could go back and do it again, I wouldn't choose this."

These are just a few replies I have received. The unfortunate part is that many of those responses were from teachers themselves. I get it, you want to warn and prepare us for the road we are about to go down. I understand the stress it can take because I have been around it. The countless hours of grading, preparing, shopping for the classroom, etc. all takes time. I can understand how it would get tiresome and seem redundant. The feeling a teacher has when the principal schedules yet another faculty meeting to talk an hour on what could've been stated in an email… the frustration they experience when a few students seem uncontrollable… the days they feel inadequate and unseen… the sadness they feel when they realize the student with no supplies comes from a broken home… I think it is safe to say that most teachers are some of the toughest, most compassionate and hardworking people in this world.

Someone has to be brave enough to sacrifice their time with their families to spend time with yours. They have to be willing to provide for the kids that go without and have a passion to spread knowledge to those who will one day be leading this country. This is the reason I encourage others to stop telling us not to go for it.

Stop saying we won't make money because we know. Stop saying we will regret it, because if we are making a difference, then we won't. Stop telling us we are wasting our time, when one day we will be touching hearts.

Tell us to be great, and then wish us good luck. Tell us that our passion to help and guide kids will not go unnoticed. Tell us that we are bold for trying, but do not tell us to change our minds.

Teachers light the path for doctors, police officers, firefighters, politicians, nurses, etc. Teachers are pillars of society. I think I speak for most of us when I say that we seek to change a life or two, so encourage us or sit back and watch us go for it anyways.

Cover Image Credit: Kathryn Huffman

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Let's Talk More About Lori Laughlin Facing Up To 20 Years In Prison When Brock Turner Got 6 Months

And he was released three months early for 'good behavior'... after sexually assaulting an unconscious girl behind a dumpster.

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To start, Lori Laughlin messed up royally, and I don't condone her actions.

If you live under a rock and are unaware of what happened to the "Full House" star, here's the tea:

Lori Laughlin and husband Mossimo Giannulli — and like 50 other celebrity parents — were found guilty of conspiracy to commit fraud, and paid a $1 million bail on conspiracy to commit mail fraud, and honest services fraud. You don't need to know what these mean except that she paid $500,000 to get her two daughters, Bella and Olivia Jade Giannulli.

I know you're wondering why they did it — tbh I am too — however, these parents paid the University of Southern California to give admission to her daughters in through the rowing team on campus, despite neither one of them actually playing the sport ever in their life.

Yeah, Aunt Becky messed up and should face punishment, but why is she facing up 20 years when men like Brock Turner are sentenced only six months for raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster at Stanford?

I hate to bring up the gender card, but I'm pulling it: Why is Lori Laughlin — a woman who with bad judgement who used money to give an upper-hand to her entitled daughters — face more prison time than a man who willingly raped a woman who wasn't in a right state of mine (or any at all!) behind a dumpster of all places.

The answer? Because the system is a mess.

Yeah, Aunt Becky paid for her daughters to get into a school, giving disadvantages to students actually deserving and wanting to attend a college. Her act was immoral, and ultimately selfish, but it doesn't even compare to what Brock Turner did, and it doesn't even effect others as much his rape survivor.

The most that will happen to the Giannulli girls is an expulsion and a temporary poor reputation, however, Emily Doe (the alias of the survivor) will feel the consequences of the attack forever.

There should have been a switch:

Lori Laughlin and the Target guy should have had to pay other students tuition/student debt while facing prison time, while Brock Turner should have had to face over 20 years with more consequences.

But, that'll never happen because our system sucks and society is rigged. I guess our society would prefer a rapist walking around more so a woman who made a poor choice by paying for her daughters to go to a college.

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