In third grade, I sat at the kitchen table with mom working on math homework. She would ask me a question, I would answer with what I genuinely thought the answer was and she would stare at me, confused at the way my brain was processing the information and how I could come up with a completely incorrect answer that was nowhere close to the right answer.
This has been my relationship with math for as long as I can remember. When I got to college, I took the lowest level of math available to me in preparation for pre-calculus. I ended the class with a B and felt fairly confident going into the next level.
College pre-calculus was an entirely different experience. Within the first few weeks, I knew it wasn't going to go well, but I couldn't drop the class completely because I would be under the credit hour requirements for a full-time student.
Instead, I decided to pass/fail the class in hopes that would ease some stress. I met with an academic coach, went to several different tutoring sessions, and even met with my Professor but I was still struggling. I would spend hours in a study lounge, at a whiteboard, trying to do my homework but the material just wasn't clicking with me.
As the final approached, I faced the reality that I may actually fail a class during my college career. I was highly stressed and called my mom crying. She told me the same thing over and over, "You can only do your best, that's all you can do." After my exam, I finished out the week of finals, packed up my room, and went home for the summer patiently awaiting grades. As grades came out, I was pleased with how I did during the semester until my math grade was finally posted: I had failed.
My feelings were all over the place. I felt shameful and I didn't want to tell anyone. I enrolled in the same course at my local community college to take so I could receive credit. This was the first time I had put a lot of work into a project and had not succeeded. In high school, I worked hard and was rewarded with college acceptance letters. In college, I had worked hard in a math class and was hit with a failing grade. I was crushed.
Although I did fail the class, I learned a lot. The path to success is not linear, there are going to be highs and lows along the way. College is not always picture perfect, there are really hard moments mixed in with the fun and freedom. The most important lesson I learned, however, was that hard work does not always equate to success and that's a hard lesson to learn.
Now, my focus is on the future. Yes, I failed a class my freshman year of college but that doesn't mean I can't be successful. At the time, it felt like the end of the world, but each day, the sun has still risen and life has continued. The first time failing at anything can be difficult but the most important part is the response to the failure. Perseverance is probably the biggest key to success.
If you fall flat on your face, it's ok. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep going. It doesn't define you, it's not the end - it's just a bump in the road.
