Expect Better
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Expect Better

From your spouse, for your children, and yourself.

Expect Better

While expectant mothers have many choices of pregnancy apps, I went with a classic: the What to Expect app. It is awesome because it has video updates every week, as well as articles related to whatever week you are currently in. One of the coolest features is that it allows you to be part of an online support group with other moms who are due around the same time you are. The group I am a part of is called June babies.

Every once in a while, I go on to the chat and read what some of the moms are posting. Usually it's just questions about names or if a certain food is safe for the baby, stuff like that. It is also a safe place for moms to rant about co-workers, friends, family, even husbands. That is one of the great things about the app, you can relate to others who are going through the same things that you are going through.

However, as I got on this week, I read something that deeply disturbed me. One mom talked about how she is constantly asking her husband for help preparing for the arrival of their baby, but he keeps blowing her off to go hang out with his friends and comes home drunk each night. Now keep in mind, the group is called June babies, so each of the women in this group is due very soon. My heart went out to this woman, and I felt terrible for her. Then I began to read the comments on the thread. Several other women were complaining that their husbands were doing the same thing. These men were abandoning their wives night after night to hang out with their buddies and get drunk.

Now I am not trying to say that these men shouldn’t hang out with their friends because everyone needs friends and everyone needs time to be with their friends. The bad thing here is that these men are ignoring their very pregnant wives who need support at this time, to be with their friends. And to top it all off, they come home drunk and, according to these wives, behave like jerks.

One woman finally commented on the chat, saying how she couldn’t believe that these women were still with these men and that they should leave them. All the women jumped down this person’s throat, saying how she didn’t understand the situation and that they were all just ranting, and that their husbands were not jerks, but were blowing off their stress before their babies come.

This conversation between so many women got me thinking. My husband and I are going to be first time parents at the end of June. We are also both college students. There is a tremendous amount of stress that comes from both of those things separately, and by putting them together, you have a stress sandwich. But not once has my husband bailed on me to hang out with his friends. In fact, as I’ve hit the third trimester, he hasn’t left my side. He has never come home drunk, never needed to blow off steam. He has been excited for our daughter to be born into the world. And I would never tolerate that kind of behavior from my husband either.

Now, I am not saying that those women should leave their spouses, because it is not my place to judge them or to make those decisions for them. However, I would like to make it clear that this kind of behavior is not okay, and what is also not okay is the fact that these women allow their husbands to act like this. Being pregnant has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I have good days and bad days. I can’t imagine making it through the bad days without my husband’s support. Ladies, make sure that you are choosing the right man. Make sure that you are choosing someone who will be by your side through thick and thin. Someone who will go above and beyond duty. I’d like to end by sharing an example of a man who did just that.

When my parents had me, the plan was always that my mom would go back to work when her maternity leave had ended. My parents lived down the street from my grandparents, who were going to be watching me while my parents were at work. On the day my mom went back to work, I was dropped off at my grandparents’ house, and she was off to work.

When my dad came home from work, he found me and my very upset mother. My mom told him that she was not going back to work. She would not leave me. She wanted to be home and raise me. My dad, my amazing dad, did not get upset. He did not shame her or make her feel awful. He went out and got a second job so that she could stay home with me. This is not a man who would blow off his family to be with friends and go drinking. This is a man who put family above all else.

This example my parents set so many years ago has become a standard to me. I wouldn’t tolerate my husband doing those things because I saw how a mother and a wife should be treated by her husband. I am forever grateful for that example in my life. Never tolerate what you don’t deserve.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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