“We’re not twins. Yes, we may be the same height and look remarkably alike, but we are not twins. No, I’m not the younger one either. I’m actually three years older. Yes, I know, but we’re not twins…”

My sister and I have had this same conversation with at least three thousand people over the course of our lives (I’m barely exaggerating). Everywhere we go, people are fascinated by how identical we look but how far apart in age we are. It doesn’t help that we also own almost the exact same wardrobe of t-shirts and sweatpants and often end up wearing the same outfit completely by accident. We like a lot of the same things too. Growing up we both played basketball (often for the same team). We both played the flute in our high school marching band. We both wrote for the school newspaper. We both listen to country music and love ice cream. And we both used to argue with each other over any little disagreement.

Growing up we fought over the most insignificant things: if a shirt looked more purple or blue, if a word was spelled a certain way, and who got to shower first. This constant bickering drove a wedge between us that increased tension during extracurricular activities, at school, and at home. We were never happy when we were together.

One day our feud reached its peak. I had made a bet with her, and I didn’t keep it, just to antagonize her. I honestly don’t even remember what the bet was. She was so mad that she threw a TV remote at me, and it hit me in the forehead. I still have a scar from where my eyebrow was super-glued together.

That was a turning point in our relationship. My sister and I both finally realized that we had not been honoring God by the way we were acting. He had given us each the gift of a sister—a sister who had the same interests and could relate with what I was going through. He had given us someone to confide in and grow with, but instead we had taken our sisterhood for granted. From then on we each promised to do better.

Unlike many promises we had made to each other, this one we kept. Yes, we still had the occasional disagreement, but we were able to resolve them because we had a new view on our relationship. We were no longer rivals who happened to live in the same house. We were presents from God that we could utilize to draw encouragement from and likewise give encouragement to. From then on, we strove to out do one another in kindness. We let the small things go, and worked hard to communicate in a loving way.

Today, my sister and I have an amazing relationship. We get to joke with one another, share secrets, and work to make each other better instead of tear each other down. I wish I would have been able to recognize the amazing person God had given me years earlier. I can only imagine how much better of a person she would have made me if I had listened to her advice when she gave it instead of making a snide remarks and ignoring her.

I would encourage you to appreciate the gift God has given you in the form of a sibling. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Sisters (and brothers) are here to keep us accountable but also to encourage us through the tough times life brings. No one understands what you’re going through better than someone who’s in the exact same position. Now, my sister and I don’t care so much when people mistake us for twins. We accept it as a compliment instead of an insult. In fact, we often don’t bother to correct them.