I get it. You have a problem with catchy pop music by women. You can’t stand when people write about their personal experiences in love and heartbreak, one of the most relatable things in the world, when those people are women. You have to tear down the success of a talented woman because she isn’t what you want her to be.

I’m not talking to people who don’t like Taylor Swift. If you’re not a big pop music fan or you’re not the biggest fan of Taylor’s voice, then you aren’t the problem here. The problem is the people that hate Taylor, the people who will tell you every chance you get that Taylor is the worst. The problem is the people who trended #TaylorIsOverParty. The problem is people who seem to hate Taylor just for being Taylor.

From the day Taylor Swift hit the music scene, she wrote songs about love and heartbreak. Not all her songs were about it, but a decent chunk were. And people jumped down her throat about it. In a year where she dated two people, magazines were talking about how fast she went through boys and warned that if you dated her, she would write a song about you. Suddenly that was how people saw her, a girl that sped through relationships so she could get a song or two about you, as if people could only write about things that had happened to them personally. Nevermind that many male artists wrote just as many or more love songs and dated more people, it was Taylor that got this reputation.

Then you get to the people that hate Taylor because of celebrity feuds. I won’t pretend to be an expert on what happened with any of these situations, I try not to live vicariously through celebrities and don’t care that much about their fights, but here’s what I know. Taylor has two big feuds that people won’t shut up about, Katy Perry and Kanye West. In the Katy feud, Taylor hasn’t directly said anything about Katy and at this point, people tend to be over this one.

Now onto the big one, the Kayne feud. After what happened at the 2009 VMAs, the two seemed to quickly move on. Neither of them brought it up much after and they even referred to each other as friends. And then “Famous” came out with the infamous lines, “I think that me and Taylor might still have sex. Why? I made that bitch famous.” and then it was suddenly a thing again. First Taylor said she didn’t approve the song and she hated it, then Kim Kardashian posted videos showing she at least approved the part about them having sex, and Taylor said, yeah, but I never said he could call me that bitch, and then people started calling her a snake. This doesn’t even take into account that Kayne had a life size replica of Taylor made for the Famous video and had it posed naked, which was hella creepy. (Taylor wasn’t the only celebrity that he did this to for the video, and it was all creepy.)

I don’t care if you side with Taylor in either of these feuds or in any other ones she might have. You can think she’s in the wrong, you can think she’s in the right, or you can think that both parties are being irrational and the whole thing is dumb, it doesn’t matter. Celebrities are people too and we don’t get to police how they react to things. You don’t get to say how Taylor should react, you don’t get to say what she should do, you don’t get to say that she is doing something wrong when something like this happens. You wouldn’t tell your friend how to react if someone they knew posted something about them similar to what Kayne said in his song, so you don’t get to do that to Taylor. You don’t get to police her emotions.

I’m not saying that you have to love Taylor, you don’t even have to like Taylor. You just have to keep your sexist hate to yourself, because those of us that like her don’t want to hear it.