I'm not sure I ever really understood that line of Katy Perry's "Firework," but I think I get the general question she's trying to ask:
Do you ever feel like you're not really living your life? (Wow, vague.) Like you're kind of sitting on the sidelines, watching your story unfold before you, but you don't feel like you're in a position to do anything about it or change it?
Do you ever feel like you're just kind of going through the motions and letting things happen over and over again, but you're not growing or learning or changing?
How about feeling like you're dizzy all the time. Not in the literal sense, but that things are often unclear or shaky or you can't really seem to get your feet on the ground. The "almost, but not quite," phenomenon.
I've had a lot of "coming to terms with myself" experiences over the past few months — some of which have resulted in a much more positive outlook on certain things, others of which leave me feeling like I just lit a match on my whole world and then ran away from it. Well, here's the truth: coming to terms with your own life — the people in it, the circumstances you face, your goals, and yourself as a human — is not always a magical, sunshine and rainbows, lightbulb moment. It's realizing "This is who I am, this is who they are, this is how this is, and this is all okay."
When you have a better understanding of who you are, or who you want to be, everything else starts falling into place. The fog starts lifting, even if it's just barely enough for you to see where you're going. You realize what you should and should not handle. You realize what you want and don't want. You realize who you like and don't like, and what you look for in other people as positive traits. This doesn't mean it will always be beautiful. You will still fall into a funk every now and then, you will still question yourself, and you will still have days where it's annoying to get out of bed in the morning. But you will still find the urge to smile because it's all part of the journey. It all shapes you into who you are, and sends you on your way to where you're going. You'll have the motivation to seek the good in people and things. You'll understand that you have the power to make of yourself whatever you want.
So, if you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again ... then do it.
