There isn't a chimney big enough or a stair case long enough for Santa to reach heaven.

As we get closer to 'the most wonderful time of the year,' I am once again reminded that I won't get everything on my wish list.

To be honest, I never thought in a million years that I would ever look at Christmas as something bad. It's always been gingerbread houses, Christmas cookies, hot cocoa, Christmas songs, laughter and family. Now that my family will forever be missing a person, it is really hard to get in the holiday spirit sometimes. There is now always a spot missing at the dinner table or in the giant family photo. There is a voice that isn't heard or a laugh that no longer fills the air. Santa never prepared me for this.

Of course I remember what Christmas is really about. It is extremely important to our family. Jesus Christ was born. The man who sacrificed his own life so I can have this everlasting life but why did he take away one of the most important parts of mine? It took me a long time to find the answer to this question.

Around the holidays it has been extremely difficult for myself and my family to find our 'new normal.' It's been hard to get in the holiday spirit & put a smile on our faces but then I think about the true meaning of Christmas and I can't help but smile. God gave us his one and only son to be born on Christmas. He gave us the man that would sacrifice himself, without question, so we could have the best life we could have. Jesus knew my angel lived the most amazing life before he called her home and gave her, her wings.

No, Santa won't ever be able to give me the number one thing on my list. I may not ever be able to see my person in heaven again during my lifetime but I know Santa will bring me the next best thing: her presence.

Merry Christmas & always remember the TRUE meaning behind this holiday.