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Eulogy For My iPhone

Not even the weight of a Toyota Camry could destroy your character.

Lauren Silverwood
Aug 09, 2016
University of Alabama Birmingham
Eulogy For My iPhone
Digital Trends

As cliché as it sounds, you never fully appreciate what you have until you don’t have it anymore. I personally consider the demise of my iPhone to be tragic. But I also consider my disdain over this loss to be selfish. Nevertheless, as part of my grieving process I feel obligated to share this heartfelt eulogy about my first iPhone.

A tribute to my first iPhone:

RIP Lauren’s gold iPhone 6, 16GB

July 2015- August 2016

My Beloved iPhone. Brought into my life after Noah’s Great Flood of 2015 destroyed my previous cellular device. Survivor of being run over by a car, multiple drops and thunderstorms while backpacking. We had a good thing going, iPhone. You’ve been there for me through every workout, every jam session and every e-mail I needed to send on the go. You were loyal only to me, recognizing my fingerprint alone for TouchID, and keeping my passcode close to your motherboard. Who else could I ever trust to guard every photo I ever took of my food and dog?

Every Instagram worthy picture you took and every unworthy photo you took are gone with you. Every Snapchat that you sent and received will be cherished, and every GroupMe message remembered fondly with a tear in my eye. I miss you every time I go to check my pocket and you aren’t there. Without you, Apple CarPlay seems like an almost pointless feature to have in my life. Sometimes, early in the morning I still think I can hear you blasting that annoying little alarm to wake me up at 6am, 6:04am, 6:11am, 6:17am, 6:19am, 6:22am, etc.

I am so sorry that my uncoordinated self couldn’t keep you safer. I’m sorry I only invested in a commuter series Otterbox when you could’ve been enveloped by a LifeProof case. I was a fool to give you anything but the best. However, you have to admit, it’s impressive you never received a single scratch or crack in the time we’ve been together. That *little* bend you got after being run over just went to prove your resilience and strength against anything that tried to crush you. Not even the weight of a Toyota Camry could destroy your character.

In short, you will be missed iPhone. While I wouldn’t go as far as saying you are totally irreplaceable, you will always hold a special place in my heart. #RIPiPhone

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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