I am in a relationship now, but before that I was single for five years.

It wasn't until I found someone unexpectedly and committed myself to him that I realized how special my singleness was. It wasn't perfect then, but now I can reflect on the past 5 years and see what a blessing it was to be single.

Our society today rushes us to find someone and get married.

There is a lot of pressure on social media. I was very involved in a church community and I watched as all of my friends started dating and then got married. I prayed for God to send me someone but I eventually figured that wasn't in his plan for me. I told myself this, but it wasn't until I left for college that I learned to love myself and find comfort in my singleness.

First things first, I was DEFINITELY NOT always confident and comfortable in my singleness.

There were times I felt like Carrie Bradshaw walking around NYC in overpriced heels. I was single, I was doing what I wanted to do and I wasn't worried about anything else. There were times I got my hopes up about guys and felt like Jess on New Girl when she watched Dirty Dancing on repeat for a week straight. I put time and energy into some new guy and thought that finally, my singleness was over. Honestly, I am half cringing and half laughing at myself for this now!

The problem with my singleness was that I focused on myself too much.

I was very involved in church and was working so hard to serve God and pray every day and go to every community event thinking that if I did, God would put some great guy in my life. This was because when I looked around my church, this is what I thought God was doing for everyone else. I thought God's plan has to be the same for all of us, right? Um, no.

I moved out of state and didn't know anyone. I could start fresh and be myself. Eventually, I settled into a routine and found an amazing group of friends. I wasn't dealing with family drama or negativity, and I wasn't worried about anyone but myself. I tried new things, faced my anxiety, focused on my leadership skills and stopped thinking about being single.

I was finally truly comfortable being single. I would take myself to dinner or a movie. It was so freeing and empowering to focus on myself and not worry about pleasing anyone else.

When I got the confidence to do what I wanted when I wanted without caring what anyone thought, I felt like I had finally made it to the top of this huge mountain and all of these other problems seemed so much smaller.

When I learned to love myself, I mean truly love myself, I felt like I had conquered the world.

Then, I met him.

Let me tell you about God. He has a plan for each of us and we may think we know what it is, but we are most likely wrong. I thought God wanted me to work hard, travel the world and be single for the rest of my life. I mean who am I to argue with God? When I least expected it, God introduced me to someone. Not going to lie, I thought God made a mistake. I thought it had to be a joke. Maybe there was a bad connection and I didn't quite understand what he was telling me. So I ran. I kept pushing away this guy that God put in my life.

I was so set in my singleness. I was so confident and comfortable. I had a routine. I wasn't ready to meet someone. My comfort came in the last 6 months of the 5 years I was single. I look back on those 5 years and I think about how much more I could have done if I put more energy into my own happiness and success rather than trying to meet someone. I wish I had focused on my relationship with Christ rather than trying to fill this void with some boy.

Truth was, all along, I needed to love God, love myself and then love others.

I never truly trusted in God's plan for me. I was working so hard to make my own plans and I thought it was God's doing. I thought I would be shocked when God spoke to me and told me to change everything, but it felt like the most natural thing ever.

He had this greater plan for me and I was hesitant at first, but I am trusting in him fully now. It has been one of the scariest things for me to be vulnerable and give up my independence but I have learned so much about God through this experience.

I am so happy with my life now.

I don't know what tomorrow, next year or the next 10 years will bring. But for now, as I look back on the past 5 years, I can see how much I have grown. I can see God's hand on me through everything.

Your singleness is a vital part of your walk with God. God has different timelines for everyone and I wasted so much time wishing I had the same timeline as everyone else. I just wish I would have been able to see it all sooner and appreciate everything I had when I had it.