Being An English Major, As Told By 'The Office'
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Being An English Major, As Told By 'The Office'

"I'm optimistic, because every day I get a little more desperate."

62
Being An English Major, As Told By 'The Office'
Playbuzz

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, [...] it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us," Charles Dickens once said of being an English major.

If you've decided to major in English (and join the elite group of intellectuals like Conan O'Brien and Reese Witherspoon who are also English majors), you're a brave soul. Obscure literary references will become inevitable. Being the go-to authority on anything grammar-related will become the norm. Misuse of "affect" and "effect" will, sadly, become a pet peeve you'll never admit you have (guys, effect is a noun). Sure, you may be stuck doing freelance writing for the rest of your life, but majoring in English might be one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do. So if you're in it for the long haul (and you're an Office fan), this list is for you.

1. You can use impressive words like no one's business. (Ebullience. Antediluvian. Propinquity.)

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F03%2F635953166056708447-1546706098_tumblr_inline_ns5yqx1ONl1rr5si2_500.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=632&h=8595f8f5f5432f3b1029f698749c20fbc3774ee432e2dce0406bd6482c6ea2e2&size=980x&c=3342848317 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F03%252F635953166056708447-1546706098_tumblr_inline_ns5yqx1ONl1rr5si2_500.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D632%26h%3D8595f8f5f5432f3b1029f698749c20fbc3774ee432e2dce0406bd6482c6ea2e2%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3342848317%22%7D" expand=1]

2. When someone asks you to edit one of their papers, you have no problem stepping up to the plate.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F03%2F635953170821556755-2054254507_tumblr_nbwuxjrLAK1qdee5uo1_250.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=865&h=834f0d32efa8e525dc7875c8ad29b7157ce78cd662dd26e7f6df6fa931f88ca6&size=980x&c=2049741706 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F03%252F635953170821556755-2054254507_tumblr_nbwuxjrLAK1qdee5uo1_250.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D865%26h%3D834f0d32efa8e525dc7875c8ad29b7157ce78cd662dd26e7f6df6fa931f88ca6%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2049741706%22%7D" expand=1]

3. People always ask if you're going to be a teacher.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F635953272895496862-778893200_edqZ1.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=255&h=1211dfe6da508340f63f4c2379908ccb90d2f8f7cc416502cc52873c01bb1432&size=980x&c=3245313522 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F635953272895496862-778893200_edqZ1.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D255%26h%3D1211dfe6da508340f63f4c2379908ccb90d2f8f7cc416502cc52873c01bb1432%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3245313522%22%7D" expand=1]

4. You know finding a well-paying job may be the death of you, but you smile through the fear.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F03%2F6359531694112981471372368906_tumblr_mmiffg1MmG1rbgu1so1_500.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=953&h=7a4baf514b0e79ddb454e233092d3119db1c1859be3ffaf5e5a32c5ccc0b39f9&size=980x&c=2317020103 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F03%252F6359531694112981471372368906_tumblr_mmiffg1MmG1rbgu1so1_500.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D953%26h%3D7a4baf514b0e79ddb454e233092d3119db1c1859be3ffaf5e5a32c5ccc0b39f9%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2317020103%22%7D" expand=1]

5. Math and science classes have you like:

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F03%2F6359531731541534131138884542_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=783&h=298dccc2147869ce3e5201ed4d5974f64f246472dce2388bfb8e25e58d5fad3d&size=980x&c=641933209 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F03%252F6359531731541534131138884542_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D783%26h%3D298dccc2147869ce3e5201ed4d5974f64f246472dce2388bfb8e25e58d5fad3d%26size%3D980x%26c%3D641933209%22%7D" expand=1]

6. You quickly learn that all of your fellow English majors are amazing writers.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F03%2F635953180799104197-910160290_tumblr_nbybej7PXi1qjcb00o1_500.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=41&h=91e7a221787bc25404d9f3fac868be126d13c69f8074650f75797fe002af78b7&size=980x&c=550085756 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F03%252F635953180799104197-910160290_tumblr_nbybej7PXi1qjcb00o1_500.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D41%26h%3D91e7a221787bc25404d9f3fac868be126d13c69f8074650f75797fe002af78b7%26size%3D980x%26c%3D550085756%22%7D" expand=1]

7. You've had to delete words (or sentences... or paragraphs) from your paper to shorten it, because reaching the minimum word count is never your problem.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F03%2F6359531817933594641562393064_6359288012781537991208266884_theoffice2.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=856&h=f20c07d5f500a6b6680522f1fae87a070d6b2804eb33f389be688c79a966a408&size=980x&c=477692603 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F03%252F6359531817933594641562393064_6359288012781537991208266884_theoffice2.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D856%26h%3Df20c07d5f500a6b6680522f1fae87a070d6b2804eb33f389be688c79a966a408%26size%3D980x%26c%3D477692603%22%7D" expand=1]

8. Your nightly homework load consists of SO. MUCH. READING.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F03%2F6359531878884020451330848005_critical-thinking.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=796&h=de4f776d36803fad1c07e46257953a62b589fba0f8ae51b0ee79a358f9db2714&size=980x&c=3447262213 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F03%252F6359531878884020451330848005_critical-thinking.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D796%26h%3Dde4f776d36803fad1c07e46257953a62b589fba0f8ae51b0ee79a358f9db2714%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3447262213%22%7D" expand=1]

9. Getting a bad grade on anything English-related is ego-shattering and heartbreaking.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F03%2F6359531891900571091911875403_giphy-1.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=698&h=fda98cdc1b27e03a6c6eb64539899fb4981f8822da6a9bed6de466361581f512&size=980x&c=2763259484 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F03%252F6359531891900571091911875403_giphy-1.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D698%26h%3Dfda98cdc1b27e03a6c6eb64539899fb4981f8822da6a9bed6de466361581f512%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2763259484%22%7D" expand=1]

10. Turning in a paper you know you'll do well on is gold.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F05%2F635954884350232181324182807_anigif_enhanced-buzz-22697-1367198832-6.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=208&h=884938f92625114138c8c3bfeffac38fce83e09443fb80ae4675997ec2aa7af0&size=980x&c=1915189072 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F05%252F635954884350232181324182807_anigif_enhanced-buzz-22697-1367198832-6.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D208%26h%3D884938f92625114138c8c3bfeffac38fce83e09443fb80ae4675997ec2aa7af0%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1915189072%22%7D" expand=1]

11. Shakespeare = endless sexual innuendos.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F03%2F635953241205305024-1176316383_1409.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=987&h=c73a0cad20ac731a4c4d7737830b806612cac99ab32d5249c83972c828c74ae8&size=980x&c=4252256944 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F03%252F635953241205305024-1176316383_1409.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D987%26h%3Dc73a0cad20ac731a4c4d7737830b806612cac99ab32d5249c83972c828c74ae8%26size%3D980x%26c%3D4252256944%22%7D" expand=1]

12. Book > movie. Always.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F635953248410256722501891185_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=649&h=5950effaf813763fa379b945c07ea8a9c9fdd8a505d733c1a9a3963a290d0aca&size=980x&c=2277297517 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F635953248410256722501891185_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D649%26h%3D5950effaf813763fa379b945c07ea8a9c9fdd8a505d733c1a9a3963a290d0aca%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2277297517%22%7D" expand=1]

13. You take it personally when someone doesn't like your favorite book.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F635953255699418308508018684_anigif_optimized-18993-1431532591-13.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=204&h=2d207a5a006e6efd8ad744a5a0503e829c0cc60aab7d2d8a5761fb4bc5d8119c&size=980x&c=2588260923 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F635953255699418308508018684_anigif_optimized-18993-1431532591-13.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D204%26h%3D2d207a5a006e6efd8ad744a5a0503e829c0cc60aab7d2d8a5761fb4bc5d8119c%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2588260923%22%7D" expand=1]

14. Or your favorite author.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F05%2F6359548758678410661624164944_Michael-Scott-angry-stare-at-toby.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=720&h=cf248f3f989acf7a5431071a71912da200184cd9f3a103b2135952bb4735c90f&size=980x&c=3977582045 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F05%252F6359548758678410661624164944_Michael-Scott-angry-stare-at-toby.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D720%26h%3Dcf248f3f989acf7a5431071a71912da200184cd9f3a103b2135952bb4735c90f%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3977582045%22%7D" expand=1]

15. You'll never switch majors because English is one of the few subjects you really love.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F05%2F635954869751420396-948658422_giphy-1.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=136&h=4bf93e7c0136ae43454d8386ef1b69758ed5093145ee1ce70ce7c79f054a62a6&size=980x&c=3514735401 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F05%252F635954869751420396-948658422_giphy-1.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D136%26h%3D4bf93e7c0136ae43454d8386ef1b69758ed5093145ee1ce70ce7c79f054a62a6%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3514735401%22%7D" expand=1]

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Love Lost

Being the girl that is falling for the boy is never easy.

622
Love Lost
Pexels

You constantly text my phone telling me that you want to see me and hang out, even though we may not have sex we cuddle and that’s intimacy in its own. I’m tired of buying you food and being there for you like a girlfriend when you consistently tell me you aren't ready for a girlfriend. I am constantly feeling I’m getting slapped in the face because I’m doing all these things and getting nothing in return. Every day I feel myself liking you more which is just crazy because why would I even waste my time liking someone there isn’t a future with. I just want you to be honest with me and with yourself, tell me how you feel from your heart, stop just saying you aren’t ready. You are wasting time telling me you aren’t ready because while you are “getting ready” some guy somewhere else is telling me that he likes me and thinks I’m beautiful and wants to date me. I’m not asking for much, but I at least want exclusivity because you ask me for all these things but in return you give me nothing.

Keep Reading...Show less
Pretty Little Liars

From reading the books in eighth grade to watching the television show all throughout high school, "Pretty Little Liars"basically defined my teenage existence. I was completely and totally obsessed on all accounts. However, even though I loved the fact that the books and the show are starkly different, there are simply just some ways in which the books are much better. Let's take a look:

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

To The Girl In The Back Row

I just want you to know you are loved. You are loved so very much.

1583
To The Girl In The Back Row
Sojo.net

Recently I was blessed to be a counselor at a wonderful camp, secluded in a cornfield somewhere in Virginia. I consider myself to be a seasoned camp counselor, as I have not only been a camper for most of my life but have been privileged enough to work multiple camps with all kinds of different facilities. I have worked camps with multi-thousand dollar facilities, with zip lines, rock walls, ropes courses, and boats. I have worked at camps with amazing water sports, camps with paintball, camps with canoes and paddle boats and floating blobs or trampolines in the middle of the water. I have worked at camps with in ground pools and camps without any pools, and even some camps with go-karts. I've had problem kids, kids who refuse to listen to anything I say, kids who sneak out after lights out to meet a significant other, and kids who are every camp counselors dream.

Keep Reading...Show less
Politics

Why The United Nations Is Key For The World

"As to the U.N., things will be different after Jan. 20th"- Donald J. Trump

1964
Why The United Nations Is Key For The World
Flickr/ses7

The United Nations (UN) has been in existence since June of 1945. Since then, the world has come together to work on and solve some of the harshest problems that face the Human Race. Be it children in societal ills like Human Trafficking, natural issues like Deforestation, or issues of extreme poverty, the UN has worked together in an attempt to make it a better place for us all. It's the only organization in the history of the world to bring people together in a willing, peaceful way; a feat that not even the League of Nations could do in the Post- WWI era. Why was it that one organization failed, and the other one is still going strong, 72 years later?

Keep Reading...Show less
Rory Gilmore
Bustle

Quick-witted and insanely smart, Rory Gilmore has a track record for memorable, relevant quotes that have become a part of fans’ repertoires. With it being finals season, many of Rory’s words can be conveniently interpreted to reflect life during the last weeks of the semester. Here are some of Rory’s wisest words that explain your life during finals season.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments