Emotions are hard for some people to express. Emotions are hard for me to express. It is actually difficult sometimes to really tell how am I feeling and why so I guess I can continue on the same pattern as I have throughout this semester and continue writing about emotions instead as a means to express myself. This feels like it’s the right decision almost every time I want to begin questioning myself or what im thinking about - you know reflect. maybe this week’s theme I’ll go with empathy because its what I’ve been thinking about the most and of course, there is always a reason for why certain feelings are prominent at certain points in time. I think making sense of emotions underscores both the technical meaning and the reflective meaning of them. So empathy has some technical way of thinking involved and also something completely polar opposite that happens on a different level; not entirely sure what to call that place but to me it kind of looks like a large field with tall wild grass and very large, full trees. I think what I am trying to describe – in my personal opinion – is an imaginary representation of how (or where) I internalize my emotions. This place, as I have described it to be, isn’t really where a direct explanation can be found. To me, this is how I place my feelings about stuff. Empathy deserves some sort of mechanical representation in my life but the concept should also be entertained in a context of the personality and even more remote, maybe my dreams? I am describing how and where I put certain emotions, so where does empathy go?
The reason why I mentioned the dream as a place where specific emotions rest in my mind, my idea of internalizing different feelings and thoughts, is because empathy belongs there. I think empathy isn’t really a technical emotion because it is describing not only that technical ‘ability’ to connect with another person but also something else; my theory, if you really want to call it that, is that to be empathetic is to not only create a personal space, such as a field of wild grass and some trees, but also one of a dream. That dream is someone else’s field and to share that dream, to share empathy and be empathetic in general, is the true showcasing of a person’s will towards connectedness.
This is all very deep stuff, I know. empathy, fields, trees, dreams… I can always keep explaining. I never really understood this until very recently but seriously, the joy of writing is letting the story unfold before you. Empathy is the emotion of the week. I can’t touch on the personal philosophy and not go into something that might be a little bit more relateable to everyone else. But if you feel me on what ive said so far then by all means, keep reading.
Like I said, there is always a reason as to why I write about specific concepts. Maybe empathy is coming into focus this week, or throughout the last several weeks, because theres some sort of internal change going on that im still figuring out? In the best case scenario that is kind of what I would hope for, honestlty. Everyone’s always trying to change, right? But here is empathy: it is a feeling, a way of thinking, a way of living life. To be empathetic ecompasses so much more than just saying “I understand”. To live your life with acceptance of the other side practiced as second nature is the ultimate goal. I think, so many times I have had a situation go awry because I could not see, feel, or understand how to relate to someone else and be cognizant that the events happening around me to other people are just as real as my own life. Empathy is self-awareness working alongside of altruism. So what about empathy for yourself? This question, to me at least, seems to point to the greater concept of loving oneself. Loving yourself as if you are at the same time feeling a sense of understanding – not necessarily including self-agreement – coupled with compassion. I think that in looking for synonyms for the word empathy I often look to use compassion sparingly. It sounds like such a powerful word; well, any word that incorporates passion sounds a little heavy, am I the only one who thinks that? In Latin, the etymology of compassion is translated to co-suffering… morbid, I know. But still, that definition continues to incorporate another translation, something that is beneath the surface; I think that second attribute points to not only the condition of feeling empathy but also an active desire to understand, to heal and help another person.
Boom, here you go: compassion is two-fold. Empathy is the driving force, the basic foundation for how it can be manifested in to compassionate behavior and thinking. I sort of tried to stay away from speaking so technically but I just had to break it down if not for you but for myself. Why do I think about empathy though at a time like this? Another question, something that I may or may not chose to answer. But in the meantime, I will say this: I think about empathy today, this past week or month because there are different events that keep bringing up these thoughts. A lot of these events stem from personal behavior and experience. I would not give a tentative maybe to this statement, but instead an affirmation that the times where empathy was needed to come from me, it was not there and that is an issue. There is no maybe about this next statement: if empathy was lacking and I cannot figure out how to incorporate it more into my future then the only place where I can begin on that journey is to remember that I always have a choice.
I have a choice to be empathetic and compassionate. And that choice should always be a firm ‘yes’ to thinking about another person and understanding them or in even broader terms, whatever is happening between yourself and the world. Its hard to look back and ask myself ‘why were not more understanding and compassionate then?’ because in truth, humans have this unpleasant quality of self-made blinders. The peripheries get fuzzy when we stop caring about each other, only looking ahead and never checking to see if someone is crossing the road, or that field of wild grass. You don’t have to live life thinking that the world is against you or someone else doesn’t understand where you’re coming from. You have a choice to take a moment and switch gears, step away from all of that intellectual psychobabble about self-actualization and the pursuit of happiness and start with the basics: empathy, its not just feeling for others, it’s a change in your entire way of acting and believing that makes those feelings actually mean something.
