If you're like me, you've promised yourself at least a dozen times that you would keep a planner and stick to it, that you would have a plan A,B,C,W,X,Y, and Z. If you're like me, you promised that you wouldn't change your mind about your major, or even become that person that changed their major eight different times. Now, I haven't changed eight different times, but I just changed it, and to the completely other side of the spectrum.
That's right, a science major giving in to the arts department. I promised myself I would be that motivated individual who would fight for what they wanted. I promised myself that I wouldn't be lazy, or let an opportunity pass. But oh college, what have you done to me?
In instances, I have found myself completely unmotivated, completely apathetic, like "I honestly don't have any sort of emotions or feelings as to what you're telling me right now, Rick" kind of apathetic. There have been days where I have wallowed myself up, laying on the couch in fetal position refusing to go to class, asking for a tub of ice cream - that's sad. I've become that person who is okay with eating ramen noodles and consuming immeasurable amounts of junk food/fast food consistently, but thank God that's only on my bad days.
On my good days, I've been a thriving individual. I've realized that it's okay to not have it all figured out. I've learned that connections are everything. Every encounter that you ever have with any individual is for a reason. Meeting someone and engaging with them in conversation is not at all in vain. I've learned the value of networking, and the value of professionalism. I've learned that it's not cool to put up a 13 second Instagram video of myself doing something stupid and pointless that my future employer will not appreciate. My God have I learned the value of work ethic. About how things that you actually put time into give you the best results. I've had to convict myself of maintaining responsibilities, for my sake and for the sake of those around me. I've come to appreciate deadlines. I've come to respect those with greater knowledge than myself. College, you've knocked me down a few times, but you have brought me back up so much stronger, teaching me all the things I need to know about how the "real world" works and how I need to get it together.
Continue to teach me, because me and punctuality are not on the same page yet. I owe it to college for teaching me how to stand up for my values and staying true to my morals. For giving me the chance to test out the waters in places I never thought I'd see myself in. For giving me that place where I could make mistakes, but look back on and laugh. For remembering that I was a different person then, and I will continue to be a different person every year (and hopefully for the better).
I'm thankful for the chance to be in a place such as this, to be surrounded with a bunch of people sharing common goals, and common traits. All the same age ranges, young, wild, free, ambitious, intelligent, stupid, poor decision makers, spontaneous, crazy, but refreshing individuals. Like Taylor Swift would say "Oh, we're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. It's miserable and magical, oh yeah." She's got that right.
It's a distorted reality here, feeling like you're grown and capable of being independent, and nostalgic at the fact that you're incapable of handling everything it throws at you, especially assignments. But we're all in this together, and we're not here just to waste time or to blow a couple thousand dollars a year for the hell of it. This is our future, our future careers, our future lives, what we will be remembered for, and what we'll support our families with. This is where we mold ourselves, and find out who we truly are and who we're meant to be. It's where we mess up, only to try a different way the next time, or the same way the next time, and the next, until we get it right.
College, you drive me crazy sometimes. You make me feel like I'm losing it, when I don't have enough time in the day to do everything I want to do, but you make me feel amazing when I discover something wonderful and when I'm enlightened by the beautiful mind of a great professor. What are you doing to me? I don't know, but keep it coming, because in the middle of my little mess, I remember how much I value being here.
