When growing up, I would be envious of girls in my class who had straight, shiny hair that just required a wash. Meanwhile, I was insecure of my always frizzy hair and the little baby hairs around my hairline that stuck out, so I always wore it back in a ponytail with a headband. When I did wear my hair down, I felt insecure about it.

My hair was thick and curly, and no one in my family knew how to manage it properly. I would brush my hair every day, taking out the curls and creating frizz. I would also wash and condition it without putting curl-defining cream in afterward.

I remember the first time I straightened my hair, I was so happy and I loved the compliments I received from everyone. The next morning, I cried because I didn't realize my hair would go back to being curly. When I wore my hair straight to school, I received compliments from girls all around and for once, felt like the most beautiful girl in the room. I even almost considered getting a keratin treatment.

Silvia Cavalieri

It wasn't until I was 14 did I start experimenting with different hair creams, shampoos, conditioners, and treatments. I watched countless YouTube videos, and tried every hair product in the beauty aisle. Then in high school, I learned to love and embrace my natural hair.

My hair todaySilvia Cavalieri

My curls, something I was once insecure about, became my defining feature. I always received compliments and girls asking me about my routine and more. One time, a high school teacher stopped me in the hallway to tell me that I "had the best hair in the school." My hair is now a source of confidence, I wear it down and up as I please. It's been so long since I put a straight iron to my hair that I don't even remember when was the last time.

I wore my naturally curly hair to junior prom. Silvia Cavalieri

Yet, despite the uniqueness of my curls and the confidence it brings me, I still get the occasional, "I've never seen you with straight hair!" or "I wonder what you look like with straight hair?"

I always felt pressure, since childhood, to fit into society's ideals. It took me more than 5 years to learn how to properly care for my hair and build the perfect routine. Things as simple as washing your hair with your head down and using a wide-toothed comb make all the difference. Every time I went to the salon, the hairdressers insisted on blowdrying my hair, when I told them, no, because it would just make my hair frizzy, they were baffled. No professional, besides my aunt, has advised me on how to care for my hair. The methods in the video below took me 5 years of experimentation to discover on my own, they're the unofficial rules to caring for curly hair.:

Women With Curly Hair Perfect Their Curlswww.youtube.com

It doesn't matter your gender, nor your type of hair. Learn to love yourself and your hair and embrace what your Momma gave you! Don't let societal standards define you.