I've had my fair share of toxic friendships and relationships, and I've learned an important lesson:
Cutting unhealthy people out of your life isn't as easy as it seems.
I used to get so frustrated when my friends wouldn't cut certain harmful people out of their lives, even when they recognized that they were in need of relief. However, there are multiple possibilities as to why we keep toxic people around.
More than likely, the relationship wasn't always toxic. If it was, we never would've brought them into our lives in the first place. That person was probably great to be around, at least at first, even if it was just an act.
Our generation already has a bad rep when it comes to relationships. We're told that "in order for a relationship to work out long-term, you have to be willing to forgive and forget."
However, there is a fine line between a relationship that is going through a rough patch and a relationship that is a rough patch. This line can be easily blurred, leading us to mistake one for the other.
Toxic relationships are often a combination of high highs and low lows.
I've heard multiple people state that no matter how bad their relationship gets, the highs are so "amazing" that the lows become "bearable," even if those lows nearly result in them being mentally destroyed.
It is a balancing act, and it leads to people creating a false mental picture of their partner/friend in order to make up for the lack of affection they receive in real life.
Sometimes, we can be afraid to be lonely. However, I've learned that it's better to be alone than to be with people who make you feel as though you are alone.
When you finally cut off a toxic person, you will be lifted up by a huge wave of relief. However, this feeling will not come instantly.
It will sting like heck at first. It will feel like a drug addict quitting cold turkey, leaving one to feel empty, numb and ultimately defeated.
It doesn't last forever.
Once the initial shock wears off, you will finally be able to breathe again, fully in and fully out. You'll be much happier and relieved, soaking up life around you like you once did.
It will feel like you're floating.
After having some distance from the person/situation, you'll be able to analyze it from a neutral viewpoint, learn from the bad and appreciate the good, even if the good was ultimately not good enough.
I've had enough experience with toxic relationships to know that they can come from anyone, anywhere, anytime.
Even if things go great at first, things won't always remain positive, and that's okay. Appreciate the good times you had with them and let go of them when the time is right.
Cutting out toxic individuals is not easy. In fact, it can be one of the most difficult things one can do.
However, it's absolutely necessary, and it's always worth it in the end.
