Cutting Toxic People Out Of Your Life Has These After-Effects

What They Don't Tell You About Cutting Toxic People Out Of Your Life

It's not an instant relief.

607
views

I've had my fair share of toxic friendships and relationships, and I've learned an important lesson:

Cutting unhealthy people out of your life isn't as easy as it seems.

I used to get so frustrated when my friends wouldn't cut certain harmful people out of their lives, even when they recognized that they were in need of relief. However, there are multiple possibilities as to why we keep toxic people around.

More than likely, the relationship wasn't always toxic. If it was, we never would've brought them into our lives in the first place. That person was probably great to be around, at least at first, even if it was just an act.

Our generation already has a bad rep when it comes to relationships. We're told that "in order for a relationship to work out long-term, you have to be willing to forgive and forget."

However, there is a fine line between a relationship that is going through a rough patch and a relationship that is a rough patch. This line can be easily blurred, leading us to mistake one for the other.

Toxic relationships are often a combination of high highs and low lows.

I've heard multiple people state that no matter how bad their relationship gets, the highs are so "amazing" that the lows become "bearable," even if those lows nearly result in them being mentally destroyed.

It is a balancing act, and it leads to people creating a false mental picture of their partner/friend in order to make up for the lack of affection they receive in real life.

Sometimes, we can be afraid to be lonely. However, I've learned that it's better to be alone than to be with people who make you feel as though you are alone.

When you finally cut off a toxic person, you will be lifted up by a huge wave of relief. However, this feeling will not come instantly.

It will sting like heck at first. It will feel like a drug addict quitting cold turkey, leaving one to feel empty, numb and ultimately defeated.

It doesn't last forever.

Once the initial shock wears off, you will finally be able to breathe again, fully in and fully out. You'll be much happier and relieved, soaking up life around you like you once did.

It will feel like you're floating.

After having some distance from the person/situation, you'll be able to analyze it from a neutral viewpoint, learn from the bad and appreciate the good, even if the good was ultimately not good enough.

I've had enough experience with toxic relationships to know that they can come from anyone, anywhere, anytime.

Even if things go great at first, things won't always remain positive, and that's okay. Appreciate the good times you had with them and let go of them when the time is right.

Cutting out toxic individuals is not easy. In fact, it can be one of the most difficult things one can do.

However, it's absolutely necessary, and it's always worth it in the end.

Cover Image Credit:

Anthony Tran

Popular Right Now

The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.

5212
views

Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

7 Things To Remember When You're Sad About Being Single

I don't need a significant other, I have my significant self.

1116
views

Let's stop the stigma around being single. Those who aren't in a relationship are not "weak," "missing out," "lonely," etc. We're doing just fine on our own, honey. There may be many plus sides of being in a relationship such as having a cuddle buddy, someone who, without a doubt, will always buy you food, or sharing your love for in each other in endless, cute ways. Buuuuttt... let's not forget these reasons why being single can be so amazing!

1. You save money 

Less shopping for you on Valentine's Day, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. SAVE THAT MONEY, HONEY!

2. You can flirt with whoever you want...

...for the most part, at least. Definitely not if they already have a significant other. But now, you don't have to feel guilty for having googly eyes for someone else!

3. You can completely unplug whenever 

You don't have to worry about constantly keeping tabs on someone. No more answering to someone's every call. You can go completely tech-free whenever!

4. You have more time...

...to find yourself, love yourself, and put yourself first. Also, just more time to watch Netflix and hang with family and friends.

5. You are saying goodbye to heartbreak 

No one can breakup with you if you're single, #facts.

6. Everything you do is for yourself 

Decision making can be hard as it is, so making decisions that benefit you AND another person can be draining. Now, you don't have to worry about making someone else happy.

Related Content

Facebook Comments