Stop what you're doing for a second.
You hear that?
That's early 2010s geek culture erupting in pure rage and anger when realizing that Twilight star Robert Pattinson is the latest to be cast as the most popular comic book superhero in the world: BATMAN.
Now obviously the early 2010s have passed onto the late 2010s and both eras couldn't be any more different despite being in the same decade, but the spirit of the pop culture fan bases from those days have roared in disapproval of having the actor who played their least favorite male protagonist into their absolute favorite.
As a male teenager in the early 2010s, hating Twilight and loving Christopher Nolan's version of Batman was a birthright, it was as American as apple pie and baseball. Like having your Bat Mitzvah. It's just what you did.
You quote Stephen King's words of wisdom about Twilight right back at the face! You say, "How dare you even consider Twilight to be a superior franchise than Harry Potter? Blasphemy!"
And while we were hating on Twilight, we also anointed the work of Christopher Nolan, who gave the iconic Batman the makeover he deserved in live-action movies with the beloved Dark Knight trilogy. The cartoonish and campy Batman from the 20th century became the dark and complex anti-hero audiences craved for in the 21st century.
The film "The Dark Knight" alone carried the banner of being a comic book adaptation and broke through a seemingly unbreakable barrier: a comic book superhero movie adaptation can indeed transcend into being a great film. Period. "The Dark Knight" belongs in the exclusive club of the greatest movies of all-time with "Citizen Kane", "The Godfather" and "Casablanca."
As we all know though, The Dark Knight trilogy ended in 2012 with the overall underwhelming "The Dark Knight Rises" and the Twilight movie saga ended around the same time.
Twilight has never been revisited in the movies, and Robert Pattinson has gone on to hone his craft as a fine actor in independent movies like "Good Times."
Since the end of the Nolan trilogy, The Batman character has continued on the big screen in a couple of reboots. Ben Affleck being cast as the new cape crusader for the DC cinematic universe brought in mixed responses. While Affleck's performance was fine, the rushed and dysfunctional movie world of the Justice League butchered the Batman character before it could really take off. It really does say a lot when the Lego version of Batman is more successful than the serious live-action one. Affleck's personal life going in shambles also led him to depart the ill-fated DCU and now another reboot has to happen.
And what do you know?
Here comes Robert Pattinson to the rescue.
Looking back on it now, I realize that Twilight wasn't the worst thing ever made and most of the hate it got was similar to the hate Justin Bieber got when his career kicked off: It's successful and made for teenage girls, so we have to prove our masculinity by crapping all over it.
We obviously killed Twilight stars like Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner for bad acting in the movies, but in reality, they were talented the whole time and didn't have good material to use it.
So while 17-year-old Mike is dumbfounded that sparking Edward Cullen is the next Dark Knight, 25-year-old Mike is just fine with it and hope it revitalizes Batman on the big screen.
And remember, the argument could be made that Pattinson's character Cedric Diggory in "Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire" is the saddest death of the entire Potter franchise...