As many of you know, I have struggled with a number of different mental illnesses over the last two years. One of them has been an Eating Disorder (ED). My ED was unspecified because I engaged in many different behaviors that couldn't quite be categorized. I struggle with restricting, bingeing, purging and over exercising.

I know this is awkward and hard to talk about- that never really goes away. It simply gets easier over time, but the awkwardness remains.

Eating Disorders are the deadliest forms of mental illnesses, many young girls and adults lose their lives from this battle. When I was in residential treatment in Philadelphia, I realized just how unaware people are of this illness. It is so massively misunderstood, that I hope that I can inform you from my experiences.

There are a lot of different reasons why someone may develop an ED. But we all have this in common, it's a safety net. It's a coping skill, a false sense of control, and it helps us avoid our demons for a little while longer. Mine was driven by a unhealthy relationship that I was in. I remember going days without barely eating anything, and I began losing weight. My boyfriend at the time told me that I looked great, and was happy for me since I was losing the weight I wanted. That was all I needed to hear, and it drove my ED much worse than before. He had no idea how unhealthy my weight loss was though, and he had no idea I was struggling. He even told me, "Make sure you're healthy about your weight loss. I want you to be safe." But that didn't register in my mind at all. All I could focus on was, "You look great!" And I wanted to look greater, so the ED continued.

It was also driven by self-hatred that had roots from my childhood. I was verbally abused and bullied. I was called fat, ugly, a pig, etc, for years and years. I was told that I was worthless and I wanted to strive for worth and acceptance. Well society praises and raves over weight loss, so I decided to seek affirmation in that way. I thought that affirmation from men would also boost my self-confidence, but I found that it was never enough. I was never skinny enough, I never received enough compliments, and I was exhausted but never satisfied.

There are some things that definitely should not be said to someone who struggles with an ED. If you are aware of their battle, please be careful about the things you say. You do not have to live in fear or always feel like you're walking on eggshells, but consideration is the most important aspect. Do not tell your friend or loved one that they look great, and that they have no reason to be struggling. Do not make comments about their weight gain or loss, and do not make jokes about how much they eat. Do not tell them to just "burn it off at the gym" rather than purging. That mindset is also dangerous and can lead to excessive exercising as well.

You never know who is struggling, so courtesy is always the best approach. It is never appropriate to make "fat jokes" to any individual. Maybe they have an ED you know nothing about, or maybe their self-esteem is already low and your comment drives them to engage in ED behaviors. You just simply don't know what is happening behind closed doors for that person, so why make such a harsh comment anyway?

I have had a few instances where I told friends of mine that I had an ED and they replied with, "Well you don't look like it!!" There is a stereotype that everyone who struggles with an ED restricts and is excessively thin, known as anorexia. This is not at all the case. You can't always tell that someone has an ED by looking at them. Society may consider them underweight, beautiful, overweight, obese, healthy, etc. It doesn't matter, you can't always tell by someone's outside appearance. EDs range from bulimia to anorexia to binges. And it favors no one.

These are a few qualities about EDs you may not be aware of. Maybe you have struggled with this sickness yourself, maybe your best friend or your sister has. Chances are, someone close to you has struggled with an eating disorder of some sort. So use good judgement, care, love and respect for everyone. Beauty is in every life and body alike!