When I was eight-years-old, I told my mom I hated my hair. I told her the minute I was old enough to make my own decisions, I would dye it brown or blonde and never look back. I told her repeatedly that I hated how it made me stand out when all I wanted was to look like other girls.
I saw myself as less than, all due to the fact that no one else had bright red hair as I did.
For years, my mom endured my complaints, insisting that I would learn to love my red hair. And I did. What I had disliked about myself became something I loved about myself, and what my mom had repeatedly told me, I took to heart.
As a little girl, I saw my hair color as something that made me weird or ugly. I believed that in order to be beautiful, I had to fit a mold. I believed that what made me inherently beautiful was what I looked like, not who I was.
Being nineteen and not eight anymore, I know that speaking kindly, choosing joy, serving others, chasing your passions, yearning for more, and being confident in oneself, are the goals you should strive for, not just being pretty on the surface.
I know now that what made me beautiful as a young girl, is what continues to make me beautiful today. The color of my hair is not the only thing about me that is different or unique, but my words and actions, and what I choose to strive toward. In order to become who you were made to be, you must change the way you see yourself, not as different in appearance but different in the heart.
Looking back on what I saw as important as an eight-year-old girl has caused me to reflect on my own thoughts and worries as a nineteen-year-old. What I saw as huge problems back then, now I know we're just the problems of an elementary school girl who hadn't grown up yet. Even now, my own small problems as a college freshman may cause me major stress, but in a few years I'll look back and laugh. And I'm okay with that.
Without knowing it, I was taught one of the greatest lessons my mom could ever teach me - becoming fully yourself requires accepting what makes you different.
For me, it was having red hair. Only after I accepted everything about myself could I become my most confident, purposeful self.
"What lies behind us and what lies before we are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
