"Can I just say that I think Ariana Grande deserves this?" was Billie Eilish's opening statement after winning Album of the Year at the Grammy awards on Sunday, January 26. The eighteen year old had already won four major awards, and ended up taking home five Grammys. She broke records in every category she was placed in: Record of the Year, Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New Artist, and Best Pop Vocal Album.

At eighteen years old, she is the youngest artist to ever win a Grammy in any of the five top award categories. She also became one of the few people to ever win four out of five top awards in almost forty years.

Eilish is known for her eccentric style, breathy vocals, and her unique mix of dark pop and mellow beats. She had her first hit at only fourteen years old after an audio of her song "Ocean Eyes" went viral. Written by Billie's brother Finneas, "Ocean Eyes" was a dreamy love song with lyrics that blended perfectly with Eilish's vocals.

Less than a year after, Eilish's fame skyrocketed, with her Instagram account earning over ten million followers and "Ocean Eyes" making its way onto the Billboard Hot 100 Chart.

On August 11, 2017, Billie released her first album "don't smile at me", written and recorded in her bedroom. With the help of her brother Finneas, Eilish managed to capture a multitude of topics in her lyrics: love, loss, suicide, insecurity, and drug abuse, among others. The album quickly found success and Eilish's name returned to the Billboard Charts.

Between the release of "Ocean Eyes" and her highly anticipated album, Eilish toured all over the world, selling out arenas with over 40,000, and earning more fame with each passing day.

On October 18, 2017, Vanity Fair conducted an interview with the then fifteen-year-old Eilish, asking her questions like "How many Instagram followers do you have?" and "What's the biggest crowd you have ever performed in front of?" Eilish answered each question with a modest awe. It was obvious that at only fifteen, she was overwhelmed and overjoyed to be formally recognized as an artist, and was ecstatic to perform in front of a crowd of five hundred.

Exactly one year later, Eilish did the same interview with Vanity Fair. When asked about the best show she had ever had, she answered "Music Midtown. Forty thousand people."

The differences in Eilish were obvious: she had grown as a public figure, and had matured as a person. But many fans commented on Eilish's change between 2017 and 2018, saying that she seemed "depressed", "stressed", and "unhealthy".

A month after her second Vanity Fair interview, a compilation video was posted on YouTube of Billie's odd behaviors during TV appearances. In certain clips, Billie jerked her head, moved her mouth awkwardly, and impulsively moved her hands. Comments were harsh, criticising Billie as "trying to be quirky", or "seeming like she was high".

Billie responded to this on her Instagram story, revealing that she has Tourette's syndrome, and the clips showed physical manifestations of Tourette's, otherwise known as "tics".

Eilish has constantly been bullied on social media platforms, getting slammed for her fashion choices and her music. After revealing that she has Tourette's syndrome, it seemed like her critics would calm down, but it only threw gas on an already raging fire. News outlets, social media users, and television reporters began questioning the singer's ability to handle being a public figure, using Tourette's as a means to expose her vulnerabilities.

Despite criticism, Eilish continued to make music, and grew a large following. In March of 2019, she released her second album, "When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?" Every song told a story, with lyrics once again touching on heavy subjects like drug abuse and mental illness, and even climate change. Eilish wrote the album with the assistance of her brother Finneas and recorded each track in her bedroom.

Following the release of her second album, Eilish gained almost two million Instagram followers in one night, and was praised by other major artists such as Ariana Grande, Lady Gaga, and Paul McCartney. Tracks like "You Should See Me In A Crown" and "Bad Guy" soared to the top of international charts, and she reached a new level of worldwide fame.

Eilish took to the road a second time, touring for almost a year in major cities. She sold out hundreds of venues such as Madison Square Gardens in New York City and Manchester Arena.

Before her tour, Billie revealed that she struggled with major depression, and had considered suicide in the past. She received an outpouring of support and love from fans and stars alike, but toured anyway, continuing to promote the album.

Over the past weekend, Eilish took home five Grammys in four major categories, competing with major artists like Taylor Swift, Lana Del Rey, and Lizzo. Every time she stepped on stage, she gave a quick thank you to her fans, the audience, and her colleagues.

But before winning her fifth trophy of the night, Billie was caught on camera mouthing the words "please don't be me". When the announcement was made that "When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go" had won Album of the Year, Billie was seen yelling "No!" and shaking her head.

When she reached the stage, she explained that she thought Ariana Grande deserved the award, saying "[thank u, next] got me through some s**t".

With every award she won, Eilish seemed increasingly apologetic, saying that she thought others in each category were more deserving of the trophy.

While a Grammy doesn't necessarily define success, it is a significant accomplishment, especially for an eighteen-year-old. But taking home five trophies in four top categories in one night is absolutely extraordinary. Despite her major achievement, when Eilish was asked what she thought about the night backstage, she replied that she was "confused", and it seemed "unreal".

After accepting one of her awards, Eilish said "I know your fans are hardcore and they're gonna fight for you guys and they love you and they're gonna talk s**t about me for years because of this." For Eilish's own fans, this comment was extremely disheartening. After achieving so much at such a young age, Eilish should be extremely proud and take the opportunity to both revel in and grow from her success.

With the onslaught of negativity coupled with worldwide fame, severe bullying on social media, and personal struggles with both mental and physical health, it seems that Eilish has been conditioned to be afraid, no matter her accomplishments.