To the two dudes who broke into my apartment last Saturday,
Could you not have partaken in a little Black Friday shopping? Perhaps browsed around a little online for some Cyber Monday deals? Literally any other way of obtaining a TV is better than stealing one. You, dudes, are gonna get caught some day, if not for this theft then one eventually because when you do dumb shit it comes back and gets you in trouble.
I've been pretty into the Dare Devil series on Netflix lately so I'm on a justice high right now and I am so pumped for when you get caught. You didn't just break down our door with that crowbar and take our TV, you also fucked with our sense of security and made us feel unsafe in our own home—unacceptable. I bet you have bad eyebrows. I bet you don't even like dogs. I bet you don't support net neutrality. I bet you don't use your turn signal. I bet you go through the seven items or less line at Wegmans with a cart full of shit. I bet you don't even feel a little sorry for what you did, but I also bet you're sure as shit going to get caught soon enough.
I know very little about you. I know that you two are young black guys who drive a silver, plate-less Saturn Vue. I know that you managed to take a lot more from the apartment across from the one my roommate and I share, and I know they are also quite upset about your visit. Honestly, you probably know a little more about me. You know I like weird art and have it hanging on the walls. You know I love to play video games with my boyfriend, our consoles are strewn all over the living room, thankfully you were caught before you could take them too. You know I have a fish, his name is Swim Shady, you didn't know that about him, but you probably saw his huge tank and assumed it's probably valuable but again, thankfully you didn't take that either. You really only got away with the TV, but you also took away so much of my peace of mind.
I joke about the situation, but the truth is it still makes me uncomfortable. I feel violated. You two were in my home though it doesn't feel like home anymore, as you cracked it open and made it a place of vulnerability.
How skewed your moral compass must be, how gone your sense of right and wrong. I hope you get what you deserve, And not just because we want the TV back, no. But because you clearly need help, and perhaps justice will help provide that and then pass that feeling on to others. I hope you're able to learn a little kindness, and also learn how much your actions have affected others.
Cheers, dudes who broke into my apartment, may your time with the stolen goods be short because justice is swift.
-Resident of apartment and roommate of TV owner
