I Dropped My Sorority And I Am So Much Happier

I Dropped My Sorority And I Am So Much Happier

The only thing I miss is the food, tbh.

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When I was a wee little lass in the 4th grade, my sister went off to college and joined Alpha Alpha Alpha*. Ever since that young age, I was enamored by the fancy letters, pretty girls, and strong bonds of sisterhood. I wanted the same happiness my sister found for herself.

A few months ago, I joined a sorority of my own to follow in my sister's footsteps. She ultimately ended up dropping after a year due to "differences," but I never truly understood what she meant until I joined for myself.

I realized a bit too late that as someone who flowed against the current, my differences weren't celebrated, but instead, they were the reason I was picked apart.

Too weird. Too fat. Too loud. Too politically correct. Too outspoken. Too boring. Too feisty.

Do they have some truth to them? Of course. I'm a self-proclaimed, boring pug lady who prefers a quiet night at Marston reading VICE overpaying a bouncer $20 at Mid. I love carbs, making bad Tiller videos, and FaceTiming my boyfriend to watch Ratatouille.

I was not the typical sorority girl they wanted me to be, and although it may not be the fairest, I've learned to celebrate my own unique perspective on life instead of trying to fit a predefined mold.

That's not to say everything was terrible— I met some of the most incredible women there. Some of my highlights from freshman year involve my best friends I met through my chapter. These are the people who believe in me and support my passions and I'm forever grateful.

It took me a long time to decide to drop and an even longer time to write this. Both situations didn't come without tears, regret, and a whole lot of Maggie Rogers.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that life goes on after you leave the shiny, pearly gates of greek life. In the SEC, it seems like the world revolves around who you know, what your letters are, and who's cooler you're painting.

I promise you that there's more to college than this.

So celebrate your differences, find your people. Be who you are and do what makes you happy.

I know I did.

-

*Has been used to replace the name of an actual greek organization.

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A Real AF Guide To Rush

Here's to finding the perfect home away from home.
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Before going through rush, I heard the most outrageous rumors from "they only give you a bid if you're a double legacy" to "some sororities ask you if you were a slut in high school." Looking back, hearing all of these rumors made me way more nervous than I was before. So if your planning on rushing this fall, I'm sure you're feeling just as overwhelmed as I was. So here's a guide to making sure you have the best rush experience possible.

Pre-Rush

-Letters of Recommendation: They're not necessarily mandatory, but recs do matter. People may tell you not to worry about it or that sororities don't even look at them, but recs let the sororities get to know you and what you bring to the table before they even meet you.

-Check Your Social Media: If your Instagram or Facebook feature pictures that your grandmother or boss wouldn't approve of (Ex. you doing a keg stand), then chances are that sororities won't approve of it either. Active members look at your social media prior to rush, so go through your social media accounts and make sure everything is appropriate.

-Plan Outfits Ahead of Time: If you're rushing at a big university like I did, then you may be having to endure nine tretouse days of rush, and, trust me, you're not going to want to be choosing your outfit when you wake up the first day of rush at 5am. Also, wear clothes that fit your style: if you don't like Lilly Pulitzer and pearls than don't wear Lilly Pulitzer and pearls.

-Pack Your Purse With Essentials: Always carry a handheld fan, chapstick, makeup, oil blotting sheets, hairbrush, mints, hair ties and bobby pins, Advil, flip-flops, umbrella/rain jacket, water bottle, and snack. You never know what you're going to need.

-Familiarize Yourself With Sorority Vocab and Greek Letters: Hint, the "Phi" in Alpha Phi isn't pronounced the same way as it is in Phi Mu. For a complete list of recruitment vocabulary click here.

During Rush

-Be Yourself and Smile: After being greeted by a doorway full of screaming sorority girls, you'll most likely be paired with a girl who has your same major or has something else in common with you. Just be yourself and talk about what you enjoy. Remember to be engaged in the conversation (or at least act like it) and smile. These girls have worked so hard to make sure you have a good experience, and your resting bitch face and negative attitude isn't going to make them want to invite you back.

-The "Three Bs": Boys, Booze, and Bible: the three topics to stay away from. Steer clear of any controversial topic that may make you look bad and make others feel uncomfortable. The girls talking to you want to have conversations with the real you but keep it appropriate.

-Take Notes: After leaving each house be sure to write down your impressions, who you talked to, what you talked about, and a ranking out of ten. With so many sororities and the fast moving pace, without keeping notes you may forget which house you loved verses the one that was sub par.

-Have an Open Mind: If you go into rush determined to end up in one specific house then chances are you are not going to enjoy rush. Go in with an open mind. Meet all the houses and girls until you make your final decisions. Don't be too upset if one of your favorite houses drops you. If they drop you it's because they think you would thrive more in another sorority.

-Get To Know Others: Girls in your Rho Chi group are going to be your best friends this week because you're all going through the same new and exciting experience. Also, talk to the girls in line with you while you're waiting to go into houses. It'll not only relieve the stress, but it'll allow you to see what other girls the sorority is interested in. Look around, meet people, and see if you could see yourself being in their pledge class.

-Don't Listen To Stereotypes: Every university going to a have certain stereotypes of each. Whether its the goody goodies, partiers, druggies, or the girls who sleep around, if you go in with an open mind and actually connect with a sorority, then go for it despite what their stereotype is. You aren't going to want to be in a sorority just because they're known as being the "good girls" if you don't connect with them.

-Don't Be Pressured: It doesn't matter if your mom, sister, or friends are trying to get you to pledge a certain sorority. Take a step back and think about if you actually like the sorority itself apart from those pressuring you. You're not going to be happy in a sorority that you chose just because someone else wants you to be in it.

To Bid Day and Beyond

Whatever house you end up running to on bid day, I'm sure it's the right one for you. Rush is one of the situations where you have to "trust the system", so rely on your notes to choose your rankings during voting and just let it happen. Even if you open your bid and see the one sorority you didn't want, still have a positive attitude and an open mind. You don't want to be that one girl crying because she didn't get the sorority she wanted. Those girls chose you for reason, so give it a chance before you drop out.

I would never have met the amazing friends I have today without my sorority and it's the best decision I could've made for myself. Have fun with it and get ready to meet the friends you'll have for a lifetime. So here's to finding the perfect home away from home.

XOXO

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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I Didn't Join A Panhellenic Sorority

It's okay if you don't join a panhellenic sorority. Sometimes a different organization can turn out to be the best thing.

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Before going to college I was faced with a dilemma, should I rush? I wanted to rush just for the social aspect, I thought it would be my best shot at making a bunch of friends. However, deep down I knew that greek life really wasn't me. I didn't want to do something if I wasn't one hundred percent behind it. There was a part of me that did want to be in a sorority but the other part of me really didn't want to rush. Let me be clear, I don't think Greek life is bad, I just think it wasn't for me. I talked to my brother and sister-in-law about this because they both were in Greek life at the college I attend now; they told me that they didn't think I would like it either.

What my brother and sister-in-law told me that I might like was, a Christian sorority called Sigma Phi Lambda. When they described it to me it seemed like exactly what I was wanting. As soon as I got to college I sought them out; and I went to their recruitment nights. I loved it! It was exactly what I was looking for. I ended up joining. This sorority brought me an amazing group of friends! Most importantly, I have joined the perfect sorority for me! A few things I liked most about Sigma Phi Lambda was the people were so welcoming, it was more low key and laid back, I was still able to have a big and a "Pham", we still did lots of sorority things whilst also having activities that strengthened us on our walks with the Lord, and I gained so many sisters that I now have strong relationships with. Sigma Phi Lambda gave me so many friends and something to be involved in on campus. They gave me somewhere to belong and I am so glad I chose to join them.

Rushing may be exactly what you need when you go to college, but if it's not that is okay. Just join something that makes you happy. Join an organization that helps you grow and surrounds you with people that you want to be around. I promise when you get to college that there is an organization for just about everything, find the one that fits you. No matter what you choose I promise it's good. Just make sure you choose what is right for you.

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