I don't know anyone in the world who hasn't heard the phrase "be a real man" said to them or to someone close to them.
What does that even mean?
Why are people saying that?
And if you can be a "real man," can you be a "real woman?"
Let's break down this antiquated phrase, look at where it originated from, and understand just how toxic outside judgments of people's identities can be.
The phrase comes from an attempt to stratify men and masculine people against each other.
This hierarchy that was created amongst men has the ability to give them something to strive for: high and just morals, good character, strength, compassion, etc. -basically good traits that everyone should strive for regardless of their gender. In theory (like communism), this competitive hierarchy seems like a good idea, but in practice its an oppressive structure that pits people against each other and has created unattainable goals that people can never reach.
In a capitalist society like the one we live in, corporations take advantage of these structures that we have built and weave their marketing in and out of them.
Old Spice has come up with tag-lines such as, "Make sure your man smells like a man."
Even Disney has portrayed this through hyper-fantasized depictions of masculinity and heroism.
Not only does this "real man" phrase reinforce specific traits that "all men" should have or be constantly striving for which are "unique" to only men, but as we have grown as a society and turned into a much more visual culture with television, smartphones, laptops, so too have these "real man" traits.
Focusing less on the "chivalry isn't dead" catchphrases and more on the six-pack abs, muscles enough to lift a car, and the flawless complexion without the use of feminine beauty products.
This is nothing unfamiliar to women out there, sexism has always determined that the only existence for a "real woman" out there is the perfect pinup, with a double zero size waist, not too tall, but really long legs and perfectly long, straight hair.
When we create these unnecessary structures of hierarchy and competition, stratifying people against each other for whatever reason, we are removing any kind of bodily autonomy from our lives.
Submitting to this larger, oppressive system where the people at the top (the rich, the white, the "traditionally" beautiful, the straight, the cis, etc.) are pulling the strings, telling us what to buy and how to act and what to look like in order to get to where they are, as if we aren't stuck in a system designed to keep us here forever.
So I propose, that we stop calling people's identities into question for their actions.
A male-identifying criminal is not less of a man because he stole from a store. A female-identifying person is not less of a woman because she doesn't have perfectly long legs. And people who do not fit in this binary do not in any way, shape, or form, need to strive for the unilateral adoption of traits that fit one category to be human. We need to abolish the idea that any one person is defined by the actions of other people. We need to stop pitting people against each other for sport.
