I Drifted But Now I'm Reaching Out

I Drifted But Now I'm Reaching Out

I'm not going to isolate myself anymore.
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I’ve noticed that since I started college, I dropped a lot of habits. Some were habits that I really needed to get rid of, such as picking at my nails and snacking way too much. Other habits, though, I really shouldn’t have dropped. Maybe I just got too busy or lazy, or maybe it was just something for the high school me. Yeah, I’ve changed a lot in college but I’m going to try and get back into the good habits I had.

College gave me a lot of time. Suddenly I had all this free time and I realized that it was entirely up to me what I wanted to do with it. The freedom is really great, I won’t deny that, but what I noticed was that I found myself alone a lot.

Maybe it was my intention that some days I just wanted some alone time, but more often than not I found myself realizing that I hadn’t seen or talked to friends in a while. I realized I wasn’t hanging out with people anymore. I was alone.

Now, I know the importance of myself reaching out. Before I always worried that there was a reason I wasn’t seeing or talking to people as often, I mean, there was school so maybe everyone was just busy.

But I feared that I was missing out on so much was because I was unwanted in those moments. After gaining confidence, I've decided won’t isolate myself anymore. I’m an outgoing person, but I won’t be selectively outgoing anymore.

In high school, I could barely go two classrooms down without seeing someone and stopping to talk to them, and I want college to be the same way. It’s really impossible to know everyone at your college but reaching out isn’t that hard for me to do, I’ve just been lazy. I haven’t put in as much effort as I should be putting in and I know that if I want to keep some of the amazing friendships that I currently have, I need to not be distant.

It’s easy to drift away when emotions and events start piling up. Sometimes, the only thing I want to do is just lay in bed and not think about my to-do lists and schedules and problems that I have.

Once I start doing that though, I get sucked in and it becomes so hard to get the energy to get up and move. I don’t want that to be the case anymore. I don’t want to hide away with the “what ifs” and speculation as to why I didn’t go or get invited. From now on, I’m just going to go, and then see what happens.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Dear Mom, From Your Daughter In College

Here are all the things our phone calls aren't long enough to say.
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Dear Mom,

Do you remember when I was three and we would play together? It was the age of princesses and carpet that was actually lava, and you were the prettiest woman in the whole wide world. Do you remember when I was in high school and the world seemed too big and scary? You would know exactly when to take me on a mother-daughter date and have me laughing about anything and everything, and you were the smartest woman in the whole wide world. Now, I'm buried in homework and deadlines hours away from you and we don't get to talk as much you want, but you're still the prettiest, smartest woman in the whole wide world.

I'm sorry that I don't call you as much as I should, and you know a lot of what goes on in my world via posts and pictures. Our schedules just seem to never line up so we can have the three-hour conversations about everything like I want to. I know we don't agree on absolutely everything, but I cherish every piece of advice you give me, even though it probably seems like I'm hardly listening. I know that sometimes we get on each other's nerves, but thank you for putting up with me for all of these years. Thank you for listening to me cry, complain, question things and go on and on about how everything in college is. I know I don't come home as much as I used to, but I think about you all the time. After all, you're my first friend, and therefore, my best friend.

Thank you for celebrating my successes with me, and not downing me too hard for my failures. Thank you for knowing what mistakes I shouldn't make, but letting me make them anyway because you want me to live my life and be my own person. Thank you for knowing when to ask about the boy I've been talking about, and when to stop without any questions. Thank you for letting me be my crazy, weird, sometimes know-it-all self.

Thank you for sitting back and watching me spread my wings and fly. There is no way I could have known how to grow into the woman I am today if I hadn't watched you while I was growing up so I would know what kind of person I should aspire to be. Thank you for being the first (and the best) role model I ever had. You continue to inspire and amaze me every day with all that you do, and all that you are.

I don't know how I got so lucky to have a person in my life like you, but I thank the Lord every night for blessing me with the smartest, prettiest person to be my best friend, my role model, my confidant, my person and most importantly, my mother.

Love,

Your daughter

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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If 20 Iconic Brooke Davis Quotes Were Your College Major

The early 00s wouldn't have been the same without a little sass from Brooke Davis.

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One Tree Hill was iconic in itself. We laughed, we cried, we went through quite the rollercoaster of emotions but through it all, we always loved Brooke Davis. She's one of a kind but relates to all of us, even when it comes to our major of choice. Ever wonder if Brooke Davis could describe your major? Well, let's find out.

1. Nursing 

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Just like Brooke Davis, nursing majors are underappreciated. It takes a lot to get those degrees! We see you nurses and we love you!!

2. English 

"What's your major?" "English" "Oh."

3. Pre-Law

The sass of Brooke Davis and the sass of a good lawyer are one in the same.

4. Communication

Interpersonal. Persuasion. Public Relations. Mass Media. We know all the tricks. Don't even try us.

5. Biology

That love hate relationship that you know will be worth it in the end but hate the road you have to take to get there.

6. Theater

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Drama. Drama. Drama.

7. Women, Gender, & Sexuality Studies

Whether it's gender issues or misogynist assholes. WGSS teaches you a lot about things you didn't even know you didn't know.

8. Social Work/HDFS

Social work is no joke. Neither is HDFS. They're like moms but moms that can bust a knee cap if necessary.

9. Business

The high and mighty. Yet they still don't have class on Fridays. Interesting.

10. Engineering

Okay so you know how to build robots and fix collapsing buildings. Big deal.

11. Mathematics

No one likes math. No one but you. Weirdo.

12. Nutrition 

Foooooddddd. But the healthy kind and like science and stuff.

13. History

Brooke Davis asking the real questions.

14. Animal Science

Brooke doesn't know every species of bird out there but maybe you do???

15. Fashion

Say it louder for the people in the back.

16. Psychology

It seems like a good idea freshmen year until you realize all the science classes you have to take. At that point you hate everyone and all trust is lost.

17. Journalism

Get your story. But also get your facts straight.

18. Art

Art is hard. Being creative is hard. No wonder a lot of famous artists lost their minds.

19. Undecided

Let Brooke inspire you to keep searching, you'll figure it out just like she did. I mean, hello??? Clothes over bros anyone?

20. Fifth Years

You just love school so much you never want to leave. Ever.

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