Why I Don't Watch The Bachelor/Bachelorette

Why I Don't Watch The Bachelor/Bachelorette

It's a twisted way to find "love."
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Once a year the buzz begins revolving around this show, called The Bachelor (or The Bachelorette). For some this means girls night, for others wine and a cozy blanket, or maybe just a cat on your lap while being engrossed in this so called quest for love.

Now I'll admit, I used to watch an episode here and there, disappointed when I had to miss one, but looking back I can't see why. Watching the show wouldn't change the results no matter how much you wanted to. A trend I began to notice was that the girl or guy who is displayed as a bad choice became a favorite in the eyes of the rose-giver. How does someone with such a bad personality (granted, this was the reality TV version of them and not necessarily accurate) gain the affection of a seemingly nice young man/woman? At least that accurately describes society today, hiding the bad parts and only showing the good when you want something out of a situation.

The "relationships" have a very high fail rate with only three couples that did not terminate their relationships of 21 on The Bachelor, and five of the 12 completed seasons of The Bachelorette remain together. Looking at it from this standpoint, I'm not sure why they keep trying.

The show is just watching people go on what I would consider blind dates, being awkward, playing it up for the camera, and getting into undesirable situations. For many of these dates, you have to throw caution to the wind and try to forget that your parents may be watching it when the episodes finally air.

There was one episode in particular that sparked my dislike. Juan Pablo had a group date in which they were doing a photo-shoot with ModelsnMutts. Andi was asked to pose with just a sign as her wardrobe. She didn't want to do it, but was pressured into it. You could see the discomfort written across her face and embedded in her response.

HOW IS THIS OKAY?

It's "out of her comfort zone" and so many others', as well! It made me uncomfortable to watch. My empathy level was through the roof and I was really hoping she would walk away from it, knowing how unrealistic that was (as it is reality TV).

They could have filmed a video for the shelter. They didn't need to bring nudity into it in order to get people to adopt an animal, and if that is the kind of encouragement it takes to get a pet, they really need to rethink that decision. If they have to go to extremes such as this to promote a pooch or keep a show going, they need to rethink their motives and come up with a better solution.

Another thing this show demonstrates is wealth. Look at where the people live, how they dress, and what they do for a living. All of them are showcase people -- doctors, sales associates, pediatric nurses, and the list goes on. They live in expensive homes. They dress like they're going to hit the red carpet. They are not every day people.

The star of the show is "dating" twenty or more people at the same time, and those in the big group don't seem to care for the most part. They have rivalries among themselves. This seems pretty natural to me given they are all pining after the same person.

How is it okay to walk around kissing everyone in the room? Don't they feel any remorse? I don't think they would walk around kissing every guy or girl they found attractive on the street. There is the technicality of them not being exclusive, but in reality, what will physical aspects of a relationship do other than cause the bachelor/bachelorette and the contestants to think about the fact that they are smooching with at least half the people in the room.

One-on-one dates are basically trust tests, but if I were the one being tested, I think I would rather not go on a date that made me feel uncomfortable. How does someone's fear of doing something and love of you connect? Does my dislike for spinach mean that we aren't compatible? Just because I don't trust myself to survive walking on a tightrope over a river 100 feet down, even if you are cheering me on, shouldn't influence how you feel about me. I trust my partner not to force me into situations where I am petrified to move. How can I trust a person who constantly and persistently throws my fears in my face to get me to feel as though I may overcome them because of their presence, rather than my own abilities?

Shows like this encourage jealousy, anger, self-worth problems, lack of confidence, and increase the number of insecurities people have when it comes to a relationship.

There are so many other ways to go about finding someone to spend your life with. Join clubs, go out to events in the area, maybe even try to approach someone at work. There you have a base for a relationship, and you've already deemed something as interesting by being where you are, like a concert, bar, wherever it is you meet.

A show like this is a great example of what you want to avoid getting yourself into. Sure, it's fun to watch. The exotic locations are ones that some people only dream of.

If you don't want excess drama, more broken hearts, and unrealistic expectations, I would suggest not using a television show like this as your definition of "dating."

Cover Image Credit: ABC

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A Senior's Last Week Of High School

The bittersweet end.
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Well, this is it. This is what we've worked so hard the last four years - who am I kidding - basically what seems like our whole lives for. This is the very last week we will set foot as a student in our high school's hallways. As most schools are getting ready to set their seniors free at last, it all begins to set in - the excitement, the anxiousness, and also the sentiment and nostalgia.

For seniors, the years since our first day as a freshman at the bottom of the high school totem pole have seemed endless, but as we look back on these last few weeks, we realize that this year in particular has gone by extraordinarily fast. It was just yesterday that we were sitting in our classrooms for the very first time, going to our 'last first' practice, and getting our first taste of the (very real) "senioritis". With all that's going on in our lives right now, from sports and clubs, finals, and the sought after graduation ceremony, it's hard to really sit down and think about how our lives are all about to become drastically different. For some it's moving out, and for some it's just the thought of not seeing your best friend on the way to fourth period English; either way, the feels are real. We are all in a tug of war with the emotions going on inside of us; everything is changing - we're ready, but we're not.

THE GOOD. Our lives are about to begin! There is a constant whirlwind of excitement. Senior awards, getting out of school early, parties, and of course Graduation. We are about to be thrust into a world of all new things and new people. Calling our own shots and having the freedom we have so desperately desired since the teenage years began is right around the corner. Maybe the best part is being able to use these new things surrounding you to grow and open your mind and even your heart to ideas you never could before. We get the chance to sink or swim, become our own person, and really begin to find ourselves.

Things we don't even know yet are in the works with new people we haven't even met yet. These friendships we find will be the ones to last us a lifetime. The adventures we experience will transform into the advice we tell our own children and will become the old tales we pass down to our grandkids when they come to visit on the weekends. We will probably hate the all night study sessions, the intensity of finals week, and the overpowering stress and panic of school in general, just like we did in high school... But it will all be worth it for the memories we make that will outlive the stress of that paper due in that class you absolutely hate. As we leave high school, remember what all the parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors are telling you - this are the best times of our lives!

THE BAD. The sentimental emotions are setting in. We're crying, siblings are tearing up, and parents are full-out bawling. On that first day, we never expected the school year to speed by the way it did. Suddenly everything is coming to an end. Our favorite teachers aren't going to be down the hall anymore, our best friends probably won't share a class with us, we won't be coming home to eat dinner with our families...

We all said we wanted to get out of this place, we couldn't wait, we were ready to be on our own; we all said we wouldn't be "so emotional" when the time came, but yet here we are, wishing we could play one more football game with our team or taking the time to make sure we remember the class we liked the most or the person that has made us laugh even when we were so stressed we could cry these past few years. Take the time to hug your parents these last few months. Memorize the facial expressions of your little sister or brother. Remember the sound of your dad coming home from work. These little things we take for granted every day will soon just be the things we tell our college roommate when they ask about where we're from. As much as we've wanted to get out of our house and our school, we never thought it would break our heart as much as it did. We are all beginning to realize that everything we have is about to be gone.

Growing up is scary, but it can also be fun. As we take the last few steps in the hallways of our school, take it all in. Remember, it's okay to be happy; it's okay to be totally excited. But also remember it's okay to be sad. It's okay to be sentimental. It's okay to be scared, too. It's okay to feel all these confusing emotions that we are feeling. The best thing about the bittersweet end to our high school years is that we are finally slowing down our busy lives enough to remember the happy memories.

Try not to get annoyed when your mom starts showing your baby pictures to everyone she sees, or when your dad starts getting aggravated when you talk about moving out and into your new dorm. They're coping with the same emotions we are. Walk through the halls remembering the classes you loved and the classes you hated. Think of the all great times that have happened in our high school years and the friends that have been made that will never be forgotten. We all say we hated school, but we really didn't. Everything is about to change; that's a happy thing, and a sad thing. We all just have to embrace it! We're ready, but we're not...

Cover Image Credit: Facebook

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Lessons I Learned From Studying Abroad

Studying abroad is an amazing experience.

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This past semester I studied abroad in London, England. I had so many wonderful experiences and met some lovely people. This opportunity led to the realization of many life lessons and I could never take this experience for granted. Here are a few of the most significant findings from my journey.

1. Life is so much more fun when you don't care what people think

Everyone realizes this in their own way but honestly this is one of ultimate keys of happiness.

2. Not everyone is going to like you and that's okay

You're better off without them.

3. Take risks; Some opportunities may not reoccur

Breaking the rules once in a while can pay off. Trust me.

4. Don't be naive--not everything is as it seems

You're not the only one going through ups and downs. Life happens for everyone.

5. Sometimes you just need to let things be--trying too hard to fix some things will only make them worse

Some things will fix themselves better than you're capable of doing.

6. Kindness is the most important quality in a person

The only thing someone should be judged on is the size of their heart.

7. Dreams don't work unless you do 

You've got to work the hardest for the things you want the most.

8. You must truly love yourself before you can love anyone else

This is one of those things that no one wants to admit but it couldn't be any truer.

9. Stop and take a moment to realize how far you've come 

You'll appreciate it all much more in the end.

10. Hold your head high and don't stress over every mistake 

Everyone is human and no human is perfect.

11. Live your life for YOU, not anyone else

It's your life after all.

12. In threatening situations, try your hardest not to panic

Remain as calm as you can and try to keep your head clear.

13. So much of what you think is overthought

You're the only one beating yourself up for that minor incident.

14. There will be many things in life that you'll desperately want but can't have

And something there's just nothing you can do about it.

15. The sooner you learn to laugh off your mistakes and learn from them, the better

Some funny mistakes make for interesting stories!

16. Everything does actually happen for a reason

Probably one of the hardest lessons to learn, but also probably one of the truest.

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