Quick question: For those people who hound others for not smiling, how do you maintain a genuine smile on your face all the time? Don’t your jaws start to hurt after a while? What is your teeth whitening routine? (Is it Colgate? I heard that works wonders). Are you really just that doggone happy? I ask because I can’t fathom what possesses strangers to approach me on the street, in restaurants, and by the baskets at Wal-Mart and demand that I smile.

Have people not heard of RBF? Urban Dictionary provides an excellent definition. Keep up.

I’m sorry that my lackluster expression makes you uncomfortable, but as a sufferer of RBF, I’m unable to muster a cheeky grin for no apparent reason just to satisfy your smiling fetish. Not to get confused, but I’m generally a happy person, although you can’t tell because my face resembles an intoxicated celebrity’s mugshot most of the time. I can win the lottery, land a lifetime supply of succulent cheeseburgers, or discover that Usher followed me back on Twitter and my expression will be as somber as if I left a funeral. Not everyone has the energy proficiency in their jaws to uphold smiles as they go about their business, so we should not impose this ridiculous expectation onto them.

Besides, you never know what a person is going through. Suppose someone’s hamster, Mr. Kibbles, died. So when he or she is walking to class fighting back tears, isn’t a tad bit inconsiderate to mandate that he or she smile as he or she walks past you?

Regardless if our peers’ facial expressions are direct indications of their moods, we don’t have the leeway to mandate that they put a smile on their faces. Some of us, like me, walk around angry notwithstanding our levels of happiness. Others, like the owner of poor Mr. Kibbles, may be going through some things, hence their gloomy expressions. Neither groups of people wants to be told anything.

No, but for real, is there a support group for individuals with RBF? I’m asking for a friend.