I Am Not A Typical Girl Who Likes To Talk About Feelings

I Am Not A Typical Girl Who Likes To Talk About Feelings

Society thinks that we can't go 30 seconds without sharing our latest heart throb and sob. Some of us really struggle to be vulnerable and share our true selves.

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I just learned the concept of what "color" I am. Do you know your color? I am a blue - meaning I am passionate, have a heart that enjoys sharing love and caring for others, and have a lot of feelings and emotions to give. This is true. I feel everything. I base my emotions off of the vibes of others and feel deeply for others hurt, happiness, and struggles. I feel so much and feel so hard when it comes to my personal emotions but I cannot open up.

I have been confronted a lot in this past year about my life and how I am feeling. We all hate talking about mental health but it's serious. I have gone through the most difficult year of my life regarding my mental health. I don't deal with change well and like to hide my stress behind happiness and being with others. With a lot happening in my life, I have noticed people knowing what's going on but not understanding why I don't share more and why I don't dive in deep.

Why don't I?

I have some amazing friends who share everything. They open up to me about their lives and their feelings and I feel so blessed that I have friends and people in my life that want to share their heart with me. I, on the other hand, stay surface level. It takes me so long to uncover my real feelings. I like to keep bottled up because I think if I share too much, none of my thoughts and opinions will be biased and will stay untouched. But it's not fair.

Girls love to do what?

Gossip, talk, cry. "Typical" right?

That is a HUGE stereotype of young girls and women in our society.

Society thinks that we like to blab all day about gossip and other women and we can't go 30 seconds without sharing our latest heart-throb and sob and don't get us started on emotions. We will cry for days over cute puppies, hot guys that aren't available and a terrible heart-break.

Yes, some of this may be true - but also true for men as well. And for the most part, that is a very slim side of our society.

We as young females go through more emotions than you could think of thanks to stress of school, families, relationships, career opportunities, money, self-worth and so many other relevant things that can make us feel uncomfortable, moody and not ourselves.

I flat out struggle with coming clean and getting my emotions off my chest. People that struggle with sharing their emotions want you to know....

Just because I don't share everything doesn't mean I am happy all of the time

Social media can really influence this. I struggle with balancing my social media. Travel, fun events, and cute coffee dates can put out an image that really isn't sharing the REAL you. I really do love being happy and sharing joy but that doesn't mean that I am not struggling and don't have those insecurities.

Being vulnerable scares me

I love when people are vulnerable to me. But for some reason, it takes me so long to open up. I want you to know where I am coming from and the feelings I have but it will take me a while to get it out. Push me. I love being challenged. I need friends and relationships that push me to come clean and be the best version of myself. Sometimes, with so much bottled up, it can be hard to be our best selves.

I am really good at brushing things off and making things seem like NBD

It is a BIG DEAL! Why don't I think it is?? Emotions are a huge deal but I am so good and putting them on the back burner and when my heart is really hurting blaming it on something else or pretending it's not there.

But, with that, I can work on it. I can work on things that make me better at sharing my feelings, even if it's not with others. It could start with journaling and praying. A lot of my thought is able to escape by writing. Praying is also an amazing way to get all your thoughts and feelings out to someone that has no judgments.

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PSA: Keep Your Body-Negative Opinions Away From Little Girls This Summer

But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with.

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It's officially swimsuit season, y'all.

The temperature is rising, the sun is bright and shining, and a trip to the beach couldn't look more appealing than it does right now. This is the time of year that many of us have been rather impatiently waiting for. It's also the time of year that a lot of us feel our most self-conscious.

I could take the time to remind you that every body is a bikini body. I could type out how everyone is stunning in their own unique way and that no one should feel the need to conform to a certain standard of beauty to feel beautiful, male or female. I could sit here and tell you that the measurement of your waistline is not a reflection of your worth. I completely believe every single one of these things.

Hell, I've shared these exact thoughts more times than I can count. This time around, however, I'm not going to say all these things. Instead, I'm begging you to push your insecurities to the side and fake some confidence in yourself when you're in front of others.

Why?

Because our negative self-image is toxic and contagious and we're spreading this negative thinking on to others.

We're all guilty of this, we're with family or a friend and we make a nasty comment about some aspect of our appearance, not even giving a single thought to the impact our words have on the person with us. You might think that it shouldn't bother them- after all, we're not saying anything bad about them! We're just expressing our feelings about something we dislike about ourselves. While I agree that having conversations about our insecurities and feelings are important for our mental and emotional health, there is a proper and improper way of doing it. An open conversation can leave room for growth, acceptance, understanding, and healing. Making a rude or disheartening remark about yourself is destructive not only to yourself, but it will make the person you are saying these things around question their own self worth or body image by comparing themselves to you.

My little sister thinks she's "fat." She doesn't like how she looks. To use her own words, she thinks she's "too chubby" and that she "looks bad in everything."

She's 12 years old.

Do you want to know why she has this mindset? As her older sister, I failed in leading her by example. There were plenty of times when I was slightly younger, less sure of myself, and far more self-conscious than I am now, that I would look in the mirror and say that I looked too chubby, that my body didn't look good enough, that I wished I could change the size of my legs or stomach.

My little sister had to see the older sibling she looks up to, the big sis she thinks always looks beautiful, say awful and untrue things about herself because her own sense of body image was warped by media, puberty, and comparing herself to others.

My negativity rubbed off onto her and shaped how she looks at herself. I can just imagine her watching me fret over how I look thinking, "If she thinks she's too big, what does that make me?"

It makes me feel sick.

All of us are dealing with our own insecurities. It takes some of us longer than others to view ourselves in a positive, loving light. We're all working on ourselves every day, whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally. But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with, our struggles and insecurities should not form into their own burdens.

Work on yourself in private. Speak kindly of yourself in front of others. Let your positivity, real or not, spread to others instead of the bad feelings we have a bad habit of letting loose.

The little girls of the world don't need your or my negative self-image this summer. Another kid doesn't need to feel worthless because we couldn't be a little more loving to ourselves and a lot more conscious of what we say out loud.

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I Don't Have To Wear Makeup To Be Beautiful

You don't have to, either.

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For about as long as modern makeup/cosmetics/skincare brands have been around, the notion that women have to use any of these cosmetic products to be considered "beautiful" has also been around.

(If you've read my earlier article about red lipstick giving me my confidence back, you would know that I absolutely adore certain skincare/makeup products.)

However, I personally don't believe that I need to wear any kind of makeup to be considered "beautiful." And you don't, either.

I think that we, as a society, have seriously overvalued aesthetic beauty and undervalued the beauty that comes from being a decent, honest, genuine, and kind person. I believe that while makeup has an incredible and transformation-giving effect on women, (and men too, just for the record), that none of us honestly should depend on x, y, and z products to make us feel that we are beautiful, or that our self worth and sense of self should be tied up in how many likes a selfie of us in a full face of makeup get.

And quite frankly, there is so much to love about our makeup free, naturally glowing skin that so many of us hide, simply because society would love to tell us that we're not beautiful, or pretty, or worth very much at all if we don't use [insert new trendy skincare product here].

Well, excuse my French, but I'm calling bull.

It's not okay for any of us to think of ourselves as less than, simply because we're not following those crazy and crappy societal trends. In a culture where "Instagram perfect" pictures are the ideal that every woman, or man, is expected to look up to, I'd say it's pretty revolutionary to dare to bare a fresh-faced look.

No one has to ever feel the need to compulsively put on makeup to be considered "beautiful."

Because, in all reality, makeup can't measure the kind of person you are.

Makeup/skincare products can't measure your kindness, your generosity, your bravery in the face of adversity, or any other kickass quality that you might have. Makeup can't do that; only what's inside of you, if brought out for the world to see, can do that. And yes, I'm well aware of how cliché and "junior high preachy" that sounds.

So, I hope this article will possibly spark some introspective thoughts on what beauty means to you. I hope you start to think about the fact that who you are as a person is not defined by how "attractive" or "beautiful" someone else might tell you you are.

You define who you are as a person, nobody else has that power.

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