Today I counted three separate times that I either internally thought or said aloud things that I wish I had done differently from my past. I, like any other person, have a list of things that have happened in my life that I wish I could change. When you think about it, how marvelous would it feel to be able to look into the past and smile at how you got everything right!? I think about that sometimes, and then realize it wouldn’t be marvelous at all.
Cringe-worthy moments are an embarrassing yet entertaining part of my life. I can take one moment that I feel I’ve messed up or wish I could change and dissect it as if it were my job. However, it is not my job. If I counted up the moments that I have wished to changed, as well as the moments I think about how I could have changed them, the number is overwhelming. This time deserves to be spent making more moments that I can be proud of, as well as moments that I might freak out about in the future. Whether it is a good or a bad piece of time that we choose to reflect upon, my honest belief is that we should just acknowledge that they are not ours to change. It is not our job, so why do we make it so?
Life is a series of essentially uncontrollable events that take us for one heck of a ride. Bad things happen, and man can they hurt. Sure, a little less heartache felt would be a major plus in my book. If I hadn’t felt it though, what would my definition of a pure love look like? That very same heartache that hurt so excessively helped to direct me to better things and brighter people. If I had not felt the hurt, I sincerely don’t know if I would have been able to value the happiness I now give and receive as much as I do.
I’m not saying that pain will go away, or that joy must dissolve. Living in the moment consists of being able to acknowledge that you are constantly learning to do just that: live. Be proud of the fact that you have gotten through so much, and don’t regret the fact that maybe, possibly, hopefully, it could have been done differently, because it is done.
If we must carry something with us, we don’t have to make it baggage, but instead, belief. We must believe in ourselves and in the fact that mistakes will always be made. People, things, and places will cross our paths or be crossed by us, and we must acknowledge that the marks they leave have the ability to reside with us for a short time, for a long time, or forever. This is OK.
Every cringe-worthy moment, every outburst of anger or love, every moment that has led us to now -- they will reside with us and within our minds. Things have happened, and things will keep happening. These things are not the actions that define you. However, the influence that you give them onto yourself is.
Let yourself revel in the highs and lows, but also know that they got you to where you are at this very moment, and be happy you are here. Those moments that made you feel at both the top and the bottom? They helped to make you one of a kind. The universe has much more headed your way, and yes, they could be hard, but remember that they could be simply spectacular.
