Recently, I've lost a friend due to the lack of respect. I am openly bisexual and a religious friend of mine knows that. I do not mind if she doesn't agree with who I love because my feelings are my own. Of course, she couldn't understand. What I do not agree with is her trying so hard to change me.
As I said, she is a Christian and I enjoy her passion to speak about the Lord/God/Holy Spirit. I could hear the excitement and love she has for Him. Every time she talks about Him, you could see the sparkle in her eye. She takes the Bible wherever she goes and would sit down to speak about the passages in the Bible. I love understanding different religions. I have also felt a spiritual pull between Buddhist and Christianity and I choose to follow both, at least for right now. It is what feels good for me.
She's the type to go to church every Sunday. She would invite me along and I'd go to Bible study with her and the Christian songs make me feel safe. I suppose that's why I love it so. I have immense respect for her and her beliefs but she doesn't feel the same about mine.
Of course, she feels her God is the truth but she also takes the Bible literally. It says homosexuality is a sin and I don't agree with that because my love feels natural. I know how my feelings are with a guy and a girl, they are both the same. We don't see things eye to eye and again, that's normal but she wouldn't stop talking about homosexuality and how it is a sin. She'd pulled up scriptures after scriptures and each time my feelings are a bit hurt.
I understand it is in the Bible, but when I asked her to stop talking about it and bringing up scriptures for that topic, she wouldn't.
I told her, "Let's talk about any other scriptures in the Bible. Literally, anything else." But alas, she would not. My faith in God and Buddha started in high school. My faith has only gotten stronger and I want a closer relationship to God and Buddha but she keeps telling me that what I'm doing or believe in is wrong.
If I want to believe in two religions because that's where my faith lies, she would tell me that God would not allow it because He is jealous after all. She would always quote the Bible like it's her lifeline. She said I should surrender and give my life to Him and when she put her hands on me to find God, I believed she wanted me to seek Him as He has done wonders for her. I wanted to feel that love as well.
I thought I would be well upon my spiritual journey for both religions but that joy was quickly swiped away from me. This past week, I have felt emotional because she would not give up. She wouldn't stop with the scriptures about gayness and said, "God can't be with sin in heaven."
It's like she's telling me how I'm living is wrong and that I should live in His image. If you'd hear the kind of life I should be living instead, like not being myself and changing myself, I would not be a happy person.
Funny thing is she told me happiness is a fleeting emotion. So, in order to prove that I want God to love me, I should change who I am? This one "friend" compared my sexuality to having sex before marriage. The difference is, you have the option to have sex but with feelings, it's something that can't be stopped but can only be strengthened. The temptations for having sex seems easier than controlling your feelings for the same sex.
Also, didn't it say in the Bible, "Therefore, you should treat people in the same way that you want people to treat you; this is the Law and the Prophets" Matthew 7:12. it also says “Love thy neighbor," but people like to pick and choose to make an excuse by using the Bible. It is possible to be in the LGBTQ+ community and be a person of faith, there are many around. I'd like to believe God and Buddha loves me no matter what.
It is not the Bible that scares me away but the people who pressure me.
She told me to try and put my strength in God. It's like, if I put all my strength in Him, it'll make me more "normal." If she were in my shoes, perhaps it would be more different and she'd be more understanding. First off, homosexuality isn't a sin, it's natural in my eyes. If I apologize for it, I would create another sin by lying. I can only live my truth. I will no longer live in fear nor will I keep someone in my life who tries to change and won't respect my decisions. The frustrating thing is she feels like she's right and she would rather be right and speak on her beliefs but not respecting me, my space or my spirituality.
I will not apologize for being angry. I have every right to be angry. I will try to forgive but, I have given up my faith in her as a human being. It's not a very Christian thing to try to pressure people to change. I will continue to go to church but I shall go alone.
