At 22-years-old, I spend a lot of time watching cartoons. I mean, a lot. I spent my New Year's Eve kicking tail in Disney Scene It. If the movie was made for children, chances are I've seen it.

So, when my little cousin asked me to watch Despicable Me, I was happy that I had an official excuse to watch it. I pretended to be upset in front of the grown-ups, but inside I was jumping for joy.

I loved the movie, but I wanted to throw the TV out the window when the minions were introduced and here's why:

They look like Twinkies.

Sure, Twinkies may be good, but I could never trust anything that never dies. (Seriously, Google "Oldest Twinkie." It's unsettling.)

They have no self-control.

They're like babies that never grow up. That's terrifying.

I don't understand them.

Maybe this is the English major in me talking, but it makes me kind of uneasy that "BANANA" is a central vocabulary word for them. Three syllables? That's the best you've got?

Adults are obsessed with them.

My 21-year-old firefighter boyfriend has minion pajamas. My co-worker's ringtone is a minion song. My sorority sisters have minion print letters. My mom even said to me, "Those minions are so cute!" HOW HAVE THEY INFECTED EVERYONE?!

I don't understand the hype. Someone please explain why these jaundiced Tic-Tacs are taking over the world, one banana at a time.