As a sophomore in college, you confidence can fall any on the spectrum. Your friends definitely boost it on a daily basis but certain events can flip it make you feel insecure. With all the pressures of life, your confidence can be stuck on a rollercoaster of change; constantly being unstable. I write this article in hopes of keeping your own confidence at least a tiny bit more stable than before, or even hopefully change the lives of a few.

In the circumstances I live in my life, my confidence has always been tugged and pulled in various directions. I can reminisce vividly about the times I thought I was the bombdotcom and times where I felt inferior to many. I come from an Asian-American family, which many people can assume is hard academically, and in general. Not trying to make stereotypes completely true, but being an Asian and having other Asian-friends, let’s just say that grades and expectations are important and present in my own family.

I was always the black sheep (still and and proud) in my family. I always wanted to study music as my life choice, and my parents wanted me to become the CEO of a big company. Senior year of high school was probably one of the hardest times keeping my confidence at a high because of my parents disregarding what I wanted. I had studied music for 9 years and counting, being confident on what my abilities were and what could be if I continued. Still my parents disagreed with my choice, and my confidence slowly plummeted.

I ended up committing to a school I didn’t want to go to and pursuing a major I had no interest in. All I could do was make the best of my experiences, and found some confidence in my academics from high school, making me a bit more confident in my college classes. I was more than dead wrong on that part, and ended my first semester on academic probation. That alone put my confidence at an all time low, along with hating the major I was in and having my parents show disappointment in my performance at school.

What was I going to do? I didn’t do well in school, I hated my program and school, and I couldn’t even study what I wanted. So over a course of a year, I changed many things, including myself.

I first changed my attitude. I realized that life is never going to go your way, because life was and is simply unpredictable. So, all I could do id make the best of what I got. I thoroughly listened to the lectures in my business class, even when I really didn’t have any interest in the subject matter. I kept going through homework even when I felt like there was no way I could ever understand the material. Academically, I did my best to be optimistic.

I also made the best out of the outside opportunities offered. I joined many clubs and organizations, knowing that I could make connections through them while being able to build up my resume. I even got my first job. I got to meet so many people that fall over the spectrum of personality. It’s a natural human instinct to always want to socialize and interact with others. This helped ease my mind to forget college wasn’t all about education, but also the experiences that shape you.

Lastly, I decided to do things every week or so to step out of my comfort zone or something I never get to do. For example, I tried out for a Tony- Award winning theater show choir. And guess what? I made it! It was very nervewrecking of course, but my confidence was boosted and really pushed me to keep stepping further away from the old high school me and towards a more confident, successful woman!

My second semester of my freshman year hit me like a truck. My grades ended up not being so hot. I was put on academic probation, at risk of losing the scholarship that kept me in school. My parents were struggling financially. These things hit me with a reality check that my priorities weren’t in check. My self esteem and confidence dropped. I wanted to stay and schoop and learn. I wanted to get a degree. I wanted to stay with my friends. I wanted to be better than what I became.

With that, I changed my attitude. I didn’t want to just deal with what I had. I wanted to be and make the best of everything! I made a list of my wants or needs with school being the number one need. I looked back on my last semester and determined my limitations, making a schedule for all my responsibilities. I worked tirelessly night and day to get my grades up. I even lost touch with some of my friends. I gave most of my time to what I thought was important.

I am proud of where I am today. I ended doing way better than I thought, being able to keep my scholarship and keep going to school. My GPA skyrocketed to what I imagined and wanted in college. I moved up in my job and got on E-Board for two organizations on campus. I even got an internship leading the show choir.

What I want to tell whoever is reading this is:

It might feel like everything is going down hill. It might even feel like your life is falling apart and you’re helpless.

If you work hard to be better than you were last year, last week, yesterday - everything will fall into place. You might even achieve more than you anticipated. Just don’t give up on yourself. Keep pushing, even if it gets harder. Keep pushing through the dark until you see the light of day. It’s one of the best feelings you ever experience. You can do it!