As I am officially reaching the final stretch of college, I find myself looking back at the past four years of my life. The things I wish I did differently, the relationships I have developed, and all of the memories. Four years really fly's by when you are working hard and playing hard. For myself I can genuinely say I have done both, quite well I might add.

There are so many things I wish I could tell my eighteen-year-old self now. Looking back there were so many times I focused on feelings that were so temporary but at that point in time, it felt like my world was crashing at my feet. I remember a couple of nights crying myself to sleep over things I thought would never change.

Somehow the sun rose the next morning and I knew that I was going to be okay because regardless of the small struggles I knew I had to keep moving forward. Being resilient is not easy, but one secret college taught me was nobody has any idea what they are doing. Everyone just has a general idea of what they need to do and they just do what they "think" will get them there.

Between being a double major, having a job, multiple internships, and being a Division 1 athlete my college experience was not a walk in the park. But I am so proud to say that I made it. College is hard and so is adulting, nobody ever tells you how hard your early twenties can be.

It is a constant struggle of wanting to be young but also wanting to be independent. It is confusing and a mess but it's a beautiful mess that you get to create, which eventually turns into your foundation. Honestly, I am so thankful for all of the small setbacks I suffered.

I am so proud that my eighteen-year-old self did not give up when she failed her first econ exam. I am happy my nineteen-year-old self stepped outside her comfort zone and tried out for the rugby team. I applaud my twenty-year-old self for taking the time to dedicate herself to her writing. For my 21-year-old self, she has slowly but surely discovered her worth and I am proud to say I am not sorry for the person I am.

Through it all, it has taken a lot to get me here. It has taken rejection and redirection multiple times of new ways to tackle my goals. It has taken midnight phone calls to my parents with tearful talks not knowing what my next move was. It has also taken loss and heartbreak from people who did not believe in me or what I had to offer.

It also has taken many wins and successes as well. It took me finding my passion for writing that I never knew I had until I came to college. It took me finding the best sport, which lead me to some of the most amazing people. It took the nights of staying up way too late laughing until I cried with friends that I now consider my family.

Yes, the journey is not always easy but when I look back at it all, I do not regret one single thing. GCU has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am thankful for all the setbacks because it only made me want to do better. For the people that have been consistent in my life, I appreciate you.

The largest lesson through this journey of college was, nobody shows up at the top. You have to work for your growth, I worked for every ounce of mine. Soon enough I am going to be a college graduate, and that diploma will be more than just a piece of paper. It will be every struggle, smile, and memory I have endured these past four years.