In case you didn't know, being an English major was one of the DUMBEST decisions I ever made. Now don't get me wrong, I love reading, I love the language, and I love high school students (and I can't wait to teach them). However, I tell people all the time, never major in English. I tell my "mentees" in high school to find a different passion because English is hard. So allow me to tell you why this book lover hates being an English Major

1. People assume it's an "easy major"

Lolololololol You're wrong. It isn't easy. Now, I don't doubt that being an environmental science major or a finance major is hard. Trust me when I say math isn't my thing, so in that sense, anyone doing a math-focused major has my props, but by no means is English an easy major. This semester alone, I'm looking at writing a minimum (that's right-- MINIMUM) of 100 pages between my three lit classes. So everyone in freshman writing complaining about their 5-page papers, please spare me. My first paper this semester was 15 pages.

2. You will never be able to watch a movie/read a book normally EVER again.

I have to analyze and over analyze everything I read or watch as an English major. Why are the curtains blue? Why did the author give the main character grey pants at this exact moment? What does the title mean? Why was the book written in this style? Why is the rat important? When I read books, I read once for plot, once for character development, and once for analysis in one of the literary theories. Every time I try to read a book for fun, I still find myself pen in hand, ready to tell you why the author named book 2 "Flight". You will never be free from analysis.

3. I have two grades a year.

Oh, you fucked up on a test, and have a test every week and have the opportunity to bring your grade up with homework? Yeah, you thought. I have 2 papers a semester. You fuck up, you're done.

4. All the books you start to read run together.

I'm reading two Edith Wharton books in two different classes. Do you know how often I've mentioned something in my one lit class about Book 1 and should have mentioned something about Book 2? Fortunately for me, both my profs think this means I'm very well read, so ya know. Not all things are bad.

And, yet, despite all the literature classes that kick my ass, the Applied Grammar class that makes me want to die, and the education classes that also require a crazy amount of reading and writing, I would do it all over again in order to one day teach high school students.