As women, we are constantly told to change who we are; not with the goal of personal growth or bettering ourselves (which is always a good thing), but with the intention to remind us that certain behaviors are considered unattractive to potential suitors. We grow up being told how to dress, what words to use, what foods to eat and even what activities we ought to enjoy because God forbid we end up single! On numerous occasions I've heard the unsolicited "Men don't like women who _____," to which I reply: "With all due respect, I like to do this, so why does it matter what some hypothetical dude I've never even met thinks?" I've never heard a good reply to this question to this day.
I am a woman who spends a lot of time on her makeup and hair, dresses in complex outfits, isn't what most would describe as "chill", has no interest in sports, is outspoken, emotional, deeply invested in TV that is considered trashy, has a bawdy sense of humor, can be bossy, and curses like a sailor; and yet none of these behaviors as I've been told have repelled a guy -- not even once. Even if they did, if I like who I am, why should I have to change for them?
I have never been one to change myself for anyone, and ladies, you shouldn't either! If someone doesn't like you for who you are, they were never worth your time to begin with. When you lead with dishonesty and deception in trying to keep a man, your relationship will not have a strong foundation. Eventually that person will find out who you really are. They may already like who that person is and not who you pretend to be based on the opinions of others.
Don't pretend to be cool girl. If you like to drink appletinis instead of beer, you order that appletini! If you don't like sports, don't pretend to. If you have a gutter mouth, swear with reckless abandon (except maybe not in front of kids!). If wearing makeup and dressing in a pretty outfit all the time makes you happy, then by all means doll up! If you're the polar opposite, then be that. Never let someone else's narrow depiction of what it means to be "girlfriend material" dictate how you behave. Your life is yours to live and no one else's. You should be free to make your own decisions about who you want to be. I can almost guarantee there's no one out there telling boys "what girls like," and just as people say, "let boys be boys," I say it's our turn #letgirlsbegirls!
