I Don't Believe In True Love No Matter How Much Disney Movies Try To Convince Me Otherwise

I Don't Believe In True Love No Matter How Much Disney Movies Try To Convince Me Otherwise

Disney movies are NOT realistic when it comes to relationship advice.

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This past week, I was talking with a friend from school, who we'll call Janet for anonymity's sake when she asked me for some relationship advice. She's been dating a guy, who we'll call Adam, for a couple years now, but she wasn't so sure she really wanted to be with him. She'd been having thoughts about other guys, specifically one guy we'll call Ben. She had a crush on Ben for a while when they were younger, and now she thinks she might still have feelings for him. She's thought about ending her relationship with Adam but doesn't want to hurt him and then later realize he was "the one" for her all along.

This concerned me a little, mostly because I don't believe in any of that Happily Ever After stuff that we grow up on by watching Disney movies and reading fairytales. Growing up, it always felt like my parents were constantly fighting. I remember going to a friend's house and being really confused when her parents were always holding hands and just getting along, it felt like I had entered some other dimension. Because I watched my parents fall out of love, I don't think I've ever really believed in soul mates, or only having one person who you're destined to be with for the rest of your life.

Obviously, everyone is more compatible with certain types of people than others, but I believe that everyone gets to make the active choice of picking their soul mate. The Cambridge Dictionary defines a soulmate as a person who "you have a very special relationship with", in a platonic or romantic manner. Being able to love someone after seeing them at their best, worst, and everything in-between takes a lot of love, communication, and compromise.

I think that can be done if you and the other person are both willing to put in the work, but there's not any rush to find it. I mean, I'm eighteen! Excluding some sort of freak accident, I've got a long life ahead of me, hopefully. While I'm sure down the road I would love to find someone who I could imagine spending the rest of my life with, I'm not too concerned with marriage, because I'm still trying to figure out who the heck I am. Which is why we date people: to figure out what kind of people and personalities we work best with.

So, my advice to Janet, since she asked for some: talk to Adam about your feelings. You shouldn't feel obligated to stay in a relationship with a guy just because you've been dating for a long time. You are smart, beautiful, and an incredible person who I am so lucky to call my friend, and any decent person in their right mind would be lucky to date you. You care about others so much, but you need to take care of yourself first this time, and it wouldn't hurt to talk to Adam about taking a break. We're all so young, you shouldn't feel like you have to commit to one person for the rest of your life already.

It's okay to want relationships with other guys, we're all still trying to figure out what to do in the mess we call life especially because we're barely making it through college and we don't even have full-time jobs yet. So, very simply: close your eyes, take a breath, and remember that no matter what I'll always love you and support you through everything. Except for crimes that land you in federal prison. I love you, but I can't promise to visit if you end up in jail.

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21 Reasons You Should Date Someone Who Was A Camp Counselor

Spouse and parent material, all wrapped up in an animal shirt, Nike shorts, and Chacos.
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1. They shop at Goodwill mostly... low maintenance you could say?

SEE ALSO: The ABC's Of Summer Camp

2. They are pretty awesome at talking to parents... opening days have given good practice for them. Give them 15 minutes and they will become best friends with your parents.

3. Their best friends actually are long distance...so you can wait a while to meet their besties who will want to know everything about you and make sure your intentions are good.

4. They have learned how to look decently presentable without showering for a week... maybe two...you may or may not like this one.

5. They are always down for adventure... sure let's hike for eight miles uphill in the middle of the week!

6. They know what it is like to be woken up at 2 a.m. because someone wet their bed... mom training.

7. They also know how to give the "modest is hottest" talk to the teenage campers... and will help give you a classy future daughter.

8. Building fires is their hidden talent... if you ever get stuck on a deserted island with them they can help you.

9. Animal shirts are a common clothing item... they know how to have fun.

10. They throw killer dance parties... ones your grandma would approve of.

11. They are used to being publicly embarrassed for others (their campers') enjoyment... and usually can take a joke or prank well.

12. They also know how to prank you back... summer camp prepares you for awesome prank wars.

13. If you want to see her with no makeup on just look at her camp photos... natural beauty?

14. They actually love children... they chose to spend a whole summer loving other people's kids; imagine how awesome they will treat their own.

15. Chances are they are a really fun person and will bring out your inner child... yes, climb that random tree and paint your face because it is Wednesday.

16. Their "real job" will come later in life... they will end up being successful. Most employers love to hire former counselors, so it is not a waste of a summer.

17. They know how to hide their favorites in life really well... so if they choose to date you they are basically saying you are their favorite and that is a big deal to them.

18. They have learned how to eat unhealthy food every day for a whole summer and stay in shape... or try to at least.

19. They also are obviously not a diva when it comes to material needs...they went a whole summer without even air conditioning and never complained.

20. If they love you anything like they love their campers your needs will always be put first...they are some of the most selfless people you will ever meet.

21. They love God, living for Him, and have already made a difference in many children's lives... they are the real MVPS.

If you are still looking for a place to work this summer and love adventure, Jesus, and children, apply for Camp Crestridge for Girls; they still have many positions available. I'll be there so you should too!

If you are a boy apply for Camp Ridgecrest for Boys!

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The Easiest Way To Get Over A Breakup

Laying in your pajamas is not going to fix everything.

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Breakups suck. There is no other way to say it. But... the good thing about breakups is that they can be seen as a good thing rather than a bad thing. I think the first step to getting over a breakup is to take time to grieve. Your life is going to be different. A whole person is removed from your life. Removed from your routine.

It's OK to take a day to be sad.

I usually take one to two days to be sad and eat a lot of food. You can't just skip over the loss and think that you will recover. You can't do that. Take your two or so days to be sad. No longer than a week. Don't wallow in your dirty, crumb covered sheets.

Once you have taken your grieving time, get your butt up.

Take a shower and leave your house. Put on your favorite outfit and do whatever you need to to make yourself feel better. Go do something. It can be something as small as getting a coffee or walking with friends. Do something with people. Don't become a recluse and isolate yourself.

Do not post on social media.

It is SO tempting to tweet about how sad you are or post a sad snap but don't. Don't let your ex have that much power over you. Don't give them the satisfaction of how sad you are without them. They are going to move on, so you should too. You should also mute them or unfollow your ex. There is no reason to get upset every time you open your phone and see their face. It's not "childish" or "petty" it's smart.

You have to put yourself first and be selfish at this time.

Once you allow yourself to climb out of your dark hole of pity, jump back into life. Keep your chin up and keep going. The best way to "win" in the breakup is to be happy and move on without them. You may fall, you will get random slip-ups of sadness, but you will be OK. Take what you have learned in the relationship and remember that part. Notice what worked and what didn't.

You are fine, it's just a breakup not the end of the world. You got this.

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