I Don't Believe In True Love No Matter How Much Disney Movies Try To Convince Me Otherwise

I Don't Believe In True Love No Matter How Much Disney Movies Try To Convince Me Otherwise

Disney movies are NOT realistic when it comes to relationship advice.

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This past week, I was talking with a friend from school, who we'll call Janet for anonymity's sake when she asked me for some relationship advice. She's been dating a guy, who we'll call Adam, for a couple years now, but she wasn't so sure she really wanted to be with him. She'd been having thoughts about other guys, specifically one guy we'll call Ben. She had a crush on Ben for a while when they were younger, and now she thinks she might still have feelings for him. She's thought about ending her relationship with Adam but doesn't want to hurt him and then later realize he was "the one" for her all along.

This concerned me a little, mostly because I don't believe in any of that Happily Ever After stuff that we grow up on by watching Disney movies and reading fairytales. Growing up, it always felt like my parents were constantly fighting. I remember going to a friend's house and being really confused when her parents were always holding hands and just getting along, it felt like I had entered some other dimension. Because I watched my parents fall out of love, I don't think I've ever really believed in soul mates, or only having one person who you're destined to be with for the rest of your life.

Obviously, everyone is more compatible with certain types of people than others, but I believe that everyone gets to make the active choice of picking their soul mate. The Cambridge Dictionary defines a soulmate as a person who "you have a very special relationship with", in a platonic or romantic manner. Being able to love someone after seeing them at their best, worst, and everything in-between takes a lot of love, communication, and compromise.

I think that can be done if you and the other person are both willing to put in the work, but there's not any rush to find it. I mean, I'm eighteen! Excluding some sort of freak accident, I've got a long life ahead of me, hopefully. While I'm sure down the road I would love to find someone who I could imagine spending the rest of my life with, I'm not too concerned with marriage, because I'm still trying to figure out who the heck I am. Which is why we date people: to figure out what kind of people and personalities we work best with.

So, my advice to Janet, since she asked for some: talk to Adam about your feelings. You shouldn't feel obligated to stay in a relationship with a guy just because you've been dating for a long time. You are smart, beautiful, and an incredible person who I am so lucky to call my friend, and any decent person in their right mind would be lucky to date you. You care about others so much, but you need to take care of yourself first this time, and it wouldn't hurt to talk to Adam about taking a break. We're all so young, you shouldn't feel like you have to commit to one person for the rest of your life already.

It's okay to want relationships with other guys, we're all still trying to figure out what to do in the mess we call life especially because we're barely making it through college and we don't even have full-time jobs yet. So, very simply: close your eyes, take a breath, and remember that no matter what I'll always love you and support you through everything. Except for crimes that land you in federal prison. I love you, but I can't promise to visit if you end up in jail.

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11 Struggles Every Nice Girl Understands

Because sometimes it's the worst.
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We are all taught to be kind-hearted human beings. Nonetheless, some of us seem to follow through more than others: we're called the "nice girls." But being the nice girl isn't all hearts and smiles — in fact, sometimes it's more trouble than it's worth.

1. You take on way more than you can handle because the word "no" is not a part of your vocabulary.

2. When you actually do have the courage to say no, you feel like the worst person in the world.

3. People take advantage of you like it's their job.

4. Your kindness is often mistaken for weakness — people neglect to realize that even the nice girls have backbones.

5. You entertain every Tom, Dick and Harry because you don't have the heart to say, "F*** off!"

6. You feel that you need to keep everyone around you happy.

7. Always forgetting to keep yourself happy in the process.

8. Sometimes you wonder if your purpose in life is simply to please everyone around you.

9. You can never lie because everyone knows that high-pitched tone you get when you try.

10. You keep most of your problems to yourself because you couldn't possibly trouble someone else with your feelings.

11. Yet, you're the master of listening to other people's issues.

Cover Image Credit: tumblr.com

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5 Signs Your Boyfriend Might Be A Dirty Rotten Cheater

Now that we have Valentine's Day behind us, I finally feel comfortable bursting your precious love bubble and giving you the real tea on how all of those things you're questioning about your boyfriend are probably just signs he's cheating on you.

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I just spent the last week with my jaw on the floor after the discovery that my best friend spent the better part of 2 years with a guy who was actually cheating ( a lot ) basically the entire length of their relationship. And now that we have Valentine's Day behind us, I finally feel comfortable bursting your precious love bubble and giving you the real tea on how all of those things you're questioning about your boyfriend are probably just signs he's cheating on you. If you encounter any of the following 5 signs, then girl you better get the hell outta dodge.

1. You NEVER get the invite to family gatherings.

Holidays

Brunch with the fam? He's not calling you. Christmas Eve at Aunt Sheryl's? He's not calling you. His sister's birthday party? He's definitely not calling you. It may not seem like a big deal at first, but if he has met your mom, your dad, and your cousins and still isn't inviting you to come along, it's probably because he doesn't want his mom to get confused that he had a totally different girl over last week.

2. He can't stand you being anywhere near his phone.

Cheater's Phone

I would think this one is an obvious red flag, but you'd be surprised how many people believe guys who say they just want you to "respect their privacy." If he is constantly texting, snapping and shoving his phone into his pocket immediately after hitting that lock screen, you may very well be in for a world of hurt. If it's going off at 2 AM, well girl, I shouldn't have to say more to convince you he's cheating.

3. You rarely go out in public.

Dating

I know, I know, he's told you a hundred times that he's just a homebody and would rather be snuggled up watching "Catfish" with you than going out anywhere, but that's probably because he is just scared you guys will run into his other girlfriend. If you do end up going out, it's always out of town or something loud and crowded like a concert where you guys would be hard to spot.

4. He NEVER wants to post about you two on social media.

Cell Phone

He says stuff like "Oh, I just don't feel the need to publicize our love." or maybe "I have a crazy ex and I don't want her to harass you online." Those are both actually just lies. What he really wants to say is "I just don't want evidence and time stamps of our relationship in case I get caught." The best is when they tell you about how they like girls who are off the grid. Sounds like a cheater to me...

5. He's constantly accusing you of cheating.

Accusing

Most girls I know will chalk this up to him just being a jealous guy. But let me tell you something honey, nothing makes you more paranoid than a guilty conscious. If every time you two argue, it divulges into him saying he's not sure if he can trust you or that you have too many guy friends or that he wonders what you're doing on nights without him, well he's probably just manifesting his own fears.

There are no promises here that he is definitely cheating, and if you really trust your man then more power to you. But if any of these signs had you thinking about your own relationship, then I highly recommend that you move on to the next one girl. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, even fish who won't cheat on you!

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